Someone on this bus smells like feet. I hope it’s not me.

I’m wearing a dress given to me by a homeless man. He probably found it in someone’s garbage but it fits like a glove. Well, a glove that’s a little tight around the bust. Of course, what isn’t, right? My breasts are large, in case you didn’t know. I could make that parenthetical but it’s a fact, not an opinion. Constantly searching for music that soothes heartache, I’m on The Kinks at this point. It was Tom Waits this morning so I’m considering this a move in the right direction. The reality at my door is knocking hard enough to get in on most days. I do yoga every day right now and inversions are helping more than ever. If I could walk around in a handstand, I would.

I had it out with someone on a Seattle level today. He’s an older white male that drops his native status like a passport into credibility. Given my experience, I’m over it. Living in Seattle most of your life usually means you’ve lost touch with most of America. The current changes in this city challenges natives to adapt or perish. I won’t be surprised if Seattle proper is overrun with foreign money and post-Regan era ideas of success. That’s the trend with millennial transplants from non-American upbringing. Taking a soulless corporate job in order to save enough month to retire comfortably. Boomer Era Values, now available in new colors!

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the diversification of the city. I simply want more consideration for the niches that make it worth hanging out here. We’ll never be NYC or LA. As acronyms go, SEA isn’t as catchy. More importantly, real monetary success for artists doesn’t exist here. There are some die-hard professionals out there making it work without prepping food on the weekdays. By contrast, all middle American artists I know work day jobs to pay the bills. Or live off their parents, I guess. Most of the people I know living off unearned wealth isn’t actively pursuing artistic credibility. They treat it more like a hobby. Maybe that’s just a coincidence.

Most of the development in downtown Seattle will be abandoned in 5 years. Rent prices will plummet as well-paid tech employees choose to move outside the city proper. Towers of hotel-quality condos will rent to the highest bidders as Indian families invade the East Side. In American tradition, that will cue the white flight to even more secluded havens. Places where change can’t find you and you only interact with strangers by choice. The gradation of proximity to urban centers fades to white as last ditch holdouts defend their property with shotguns in only the most rural parts of America.

Covering every spare part of the country with suburban oases for the small-minded to govern. Post-apocalyptic circumstances creeping up without any actual apocalypse. Just humans living in voluntary isolation, only interacting with the outside world to celebrate birthdays, engagements and divorces. Hoarding all the wealth into microcosms of society, only influencing the things that protect your status. Who you know and how you know them is the only measure of status. All the dogs are purebred and dirty needles are used to carry out the death sentence. Or something equally atrocious.

I’m debating a comedy career at this point. Mainly because I can just say shit and get heckled and wing it until I cry in front of them. That’s about what I expect. I’m considering picking on Jews. It’s a complete simile for the N word and at the same time I’m making fun of the idea that white males are always searching for a minority to join. More on this later. It’s last call now.