I met a great person over the weekend. He’s a nice guy that I really enjoy and he seems to like me a whole bunch in return. So I figure this is the perfect time to try out Tinder.  Just like not going to the supermarket hungry, I don’t want to try out the most effective hookup app of all time when I’m desperate and lonely.  It’s much easier to spot sketchy people when your self-esteem is recently boosted.  It’s probably why getting job offers always seem to come in clumps too. 

I’ve been lukewarm on the swiping apps since I learned about the idea in 2014. It came up during a conversation with a flamingly gay man who was explaining the history of Grindr, Tinder’s predecessor and inspiration.  In the gay community, Grindr is an app used exclusively to hook up.  Sure, you might make friends or discover the love of your life but that’s not what it was made for.  It streamlines the late-night hookup by quickly matching interested people and then making contact easy.  The entire thing is basically a digital “Wanna fuck?”  And people do, that’s why it works.

As my homosexual drinking buddy pointed out, Tinder takes the same concept and fucks it up with pretension and expectations.  Straight people are much more self conscious about wanting casual sex.  And if you are someone looking for a dynamic connection with a complex individual, this app might not be the best forum.  Sure you can plow through potential matches at a rapid pace and only mutual attractions are rewarded but ultimately it’s a game.  And yes, dating in general is just a big game, but the rules you play by can strongly inform the results.  So if you usually engage with people you meet in bars, Tinder can expedite that process.  If you are looking for husband material, maybe this isn’t the forum to start with.

Fortunately, I’m not looking for anything except new opportunities.  The app had me chatting with 3 different people in less than 1o minutes.  I’m not a glutton, so I tend to let those kind of chats lead themselves.  But if I was so inclined, I could get laid twice tonight without breaking a sweat.  One particularly enterprising young man is on his way to meet me for a drink.  I made it clear I’m not looking for a quick hook up and he expresses the same sentiment.  Insofar as text can convey sincerity, my gut says he’s not an instant creep.  I might be proven completely wrong but it’s more likely I’ll meet a stranger that isn’t as strange by night’s end and if there’s a connection we might work our way toward a date.  Pretty innocuous and yet so much room for potential.  Such a Brave New World we live in.

I don’t know if Tinder will become part of my repertoire in the Seattle social scene.  It’s certainly something I couldn’t have played with in Memphis.  Too soon, friends and exes would pop up on that screen and I’d have the onerous choice of swiping.  Either I go left and they know my real opinion or, worse, I go right and find out theirs.  Here in a new place, my feelings are immune to hurt.  I’m already alone and set in my ways.  Being ignored is a relief compared to feeling criticized by a stagnant social scene.  And besides, most of the people I’ve met in Seattle so far seem to think I’m great.  Left swipes can’t shake this foundation.