Keeps making me think something great will happen. Sexually frustrated and emotionally unfulfilled, it’s like a bad parody of my marriage. Except this guy is a bigger asshole. I’m just waiting for him to find some girl’s ass to crawl up. Then I’ll be alone for all these plans we’re making. He doesn’t know he’s doing it. His genuine naivety would be adorable if it wasn’t so tired. Every person he meets thinks he’s charming. Every girl he eyes sees through it and that doesn’t stop them from enjoying the attention. Or worse, they fall for it and I have to be nice to them. Either way, it’s exhausting to watch. Like binge watching Mr. Ed episodes, there are only so many plot devices that work from that corner.

The price of being confident is intimidation factor. My already abrasive nature is only sharper when I feel in control. In contrast, I’m just a brat while playing the sub. I’m flat out mean if given any amount of dominance. I’m a good witch at heart and don’t like taking things by force. Once in a blue moon I recognize someone that wants me to take them. Explosions, in a good way. Like a madness taking over, after a passionate kiss I see nothing but lust. I want to press my hips against someone and make them gasp. Growling in my throat, heat in my eyes, I’m not ashamed of my sexuality.

But he doesn’t want me. None of the people near me are interested in my grinding and gasping. They like those things in general but my offer feels like a trap. I’m too aggressive, asserting my desires without pretense. That sort of thing only happens in stories. If I’m like this so easily with you it must not be special. Except that it is. I’m as genuine as the asshole I’m friends with. I follow through on my feelings and can show the willing a great time. They just have to be willing. It’s only a tease if you are expecting me to care about you later.