When I grew up in the early 90’s it was just called “gay rights”. Posited as an agenda by the mainstream, I didn’t see the complaint. Even at 11, I knew people should love whoever they want and trying to control that is just plain silly. So I’ve supported the gay rights movement my entire life, no question. By the end of high school the more inclusive acronym LGB gained a foothold. I’m so glad the L comes first. Partially for the feminism stuff but mostly for avoiding the gl- sound. By the time I graduated college, LGBT was the acceptable collection of letters. It stayed that way until I left Memphis, TN. The Q wasn’t even an option. 

The term queer was a common slur in my early youth. It went right along faggot and gay in the list of words people used to express disdain. Over time, these words have fortunately changed context in everyday use but the damage was already done. Assuming it’s a synonym for faggot, I never considered queer something that could apply to me. I’m not a lesbian and I’m not straight so I just defaulted myself into bisexual. I’ve gotten some push-back about “how bi” I am because of my sexual history. Truth is, gender doesn’t matter that much to me except that men seem more into me more than women. Like, a lot more.

By definition I am certainly queer, though I identify more as uncanny.  Everyone knows I’m odd and I stopped trying to hide it a couple years ago.  To find out my oddness ties in so seamlessly with my sexuality isn’t really a huge shock.  My kink meter was calibrated against the advent of the internet, where you can look up anything.  I am an outlier on most vanilla graphs but not far enough to make a big deal out of it.  The term queer seems vaguely specific enough to express that.  I’m okay using it whenever a label will help someone understand me better.  Whether new additions to the acronym will change future me’s label remains to be seen.