North Mississippi All Stars is playing the Croc tomorrow night and I feel conflicted. A group that literally played events for my high school peers while I actively avoided them but I still kinda want to go. Much like the rest of Southern music in the 90s, it wasn’t the quality of artist but their fans that detracted from my experience. If I go see a show in Seattle in 2017 what sort of peers will I have? There’s so much good music I left behind in Memphis. I’m haunted with a need for soul that might make me pay $20 for nostalgia purposes alone. Perfect time to be Memphis as Fuck.

All celebratory circumstances will depend heavily on my work day tomorrow. It’s my time to have a meeting with the new boss. I’m confident, yet wary. Every person that tells me not to worry is a white male that’s never been fired without reason. Am I paranoid, hell yes. I’ve got a track record of losing jobs for seemingly uncontrollable reasons. On the bright side, I’m extremely solid in my position at this point and the worst thing that happens is I stay in the dish pit a little longer. I will continue to help with prep in the kitchen because I’m good at my job. I might stop contributing to my 401k though, the matching only kicks in after 3 years. I just want to get 40 hours a week and keep my bills paid.

Someone claims that working is pointless if you don’t need money. Well no-fucking-duh, the majority of humanity has to work for what they have in some capacity. The instance of a human with absolutely no compunction to maintain survival beyond paying bills on time with someone else’s money usually at least has to fuck her husband once a week. A collection of useless hobbies and volunteerisms only leads to stories for grandchildren and some honorifics carved into something. Pride requires sweat. I don’t do my jobs well because of how much I’m getting paid. I work it for the money, I do it for personal pride.

I met a man that trained for a half marathon and accomplished his goal. His complaint was that continuing to train for the full marathon required pushing his endurance past the point of healthy exercise. He didn’t see the value in pushing that hard. Some people have a passion for running that removes the burden of pain. Some of us push beyond normal limits because we can’t live without it. Passionless existence is bland and if you don’t see value in spice maybe you aren’t built to live. Just have your kids and hope they do better.