The first rule of Sex Club is there’s no drinking at the sex club.  Unlike almost every other sexually charged social event I’ve attended, there is no drinking at CSPC parties.  One of the inherent rules in any consent culture is that you must be able to give consent.  The only way to feel safe in some situations is knowing you and your partner(s) are lucid and willing.  For me, sobriety makes everything even sexier.  I don’t need to lower my inhibitions to ask for what I want for the first time in my life. It’s empowering.

If I weigh the relative cost of certain dating activities it breaks down like this:
Dinner Out…   
Pro: Nice, intimate evening around other people that has potential to end with sex.
Con: $40-$160 on average and one or both of you might drink/eat/text too much to get laid.
Kink Party…
Pro: Nice, intimate evening around other people that has the potential to end with sex.
Con: $10-$30 to hang out in a place where you can’t be intoxicated.
Board Game Night…
Pro: Mostly free and you can hang out with people that will talk you up to your date.
Con: Not very intimate and almost guaranteed to break up new couples 50% of the time.
Netflix & Chill…
Pro: Mostly free and often used as a thinly-veiled excuse to hook up.
Con: I don’t generally date and/or have sex with people using this euphemism.

While I do love a dinner out, the psychological benefits to sobriety are extra compelling right now.  I’m meeting people that know how I feel and aren’t scared if we don’t agree on something.  The independence earned by having friends is a complete surprise to me.  As Orwell said, Ignorance is Strength.  I’m okay exchanging some strength for support at this point.  There is so much left to learn and Knowledge is Power.