Not only did he cancel our date tonight, he said there’s no point in ever seeing me again. Yeah, it hurts quite a bit. I’d already figured out the not wanting to date part. I’m used to that. But to not want any contact at all? It feels extreme and unexpected. I suppose this is better than ghosting, no matter how terse the rejection. I asked for a reprieve or, at least, an explanation and got nothing. I’m convinced he’s making a mistake and that’s natural for my side of this. I hope he at least has a good reason, not just fear of the unknown. The hope that’s he’ll change his mind is festering inside of me right at this moment. I’m attempting to kill it with whiskey.

My attraction to this person hit me hard and fast. Committing the fatal faux-pas of confessing emotions out loud, it seemed like a safe bet after he put the moves on me. I didn’t think he’d take me too seriously and being myself is the only thing I know to do. We had good conversations and an easy connection.

I went out to see a show last night and was looking forward to talking about it. His approach to music is complex, something I don’t often find in non-musicians. My heart knows I’m missing out on a great friendship. I wish there was something I could do to not feel this way.