Bouquets of fish eggs
Sloshing and slippery
Dripping
Oozing
Plopping off the ends
Of baby’s breath
Small globes of salty trust
Waiting for life
Wasted
Like sperm in a sock
Silently washed
Forgotten
Aborted
From thought

I’m bleeding now
Isn’t that enough
You want more?
Let me see
(feels self)
I have a tiny bit
more to give
But you have to stop
When I say
STOP

If I say go
GO

But,
Please don’t go.
I’m alone without you.
I don’t know what to do
without you
Until

I meet someone else
They ask why I try
They ask what I want
I say I don’t know
Because
I love you
But I don’t
Want to do this again.
Feel this low.
Know this pain.

I can help you
She says.
I want to believe
I want to
LET GO
To do that is simple
Every time you almost care
Take a shot.
(gulp)
If you look around
And everything still seems
useless
(gulp)
Rinse.
Repeat.
Survive.
That’s all you need.
(gulp)