Someone in Seattle finally explained why every Indian man I’ve tried to go on a date with treats me oddly.  To clarify, I am not discussing skin color – just heritage.  Amazonian imports that hail from actual Asia. My empirical observations reveal a significant pattern.  A certain flavor of sexism I haven’t been exposed to since my youth.  An assumption about my behavior based on how I dress.  Apparently, in Indian culture Americans are seen as promiscuous and slutty.  My body type and personal confidence only accentuate the stereotype. 

I accepted a long time ago that appearance should not dictate how people are treated.  Behavior should be the only thing we judge by.  That’s true for everyone but those of us treated better because of appearance don’t often take a stand against it.  Tolerating these double standards works against finding equality.  Allowing preferential treatment without cause is as bad as segregating the seating on a bus.  I won’t deny being pretty has its advantages.  I have the luxury of good features and conventional assets.  I use no makeup to accentuate my natural beauty and it shines brighter as a result.  I dress in torn clothing with messy hair and it’s called edgy.  Someone sleeping on the streets has the same getup with no makeup is derelict.  How does that track?

The feminist movement has battled for my right to wear whatever the hell I please so I take advantage of it.  I wear tight clothes because that’s what feels good on my skin.  I wear tank tops and shorts because I’m hot natured.  On occasion I will wear a skirt or dress to impress a date but it’s rare.  If someone doesn’t find me sexy in a T-shirt they don’t deserve to see me in heels.  What’s important is I don’t have to think about other people’s opinions.  Women before me have fought for the ability to be comfortable without fearing salacious assumptions.  I remember that every time I leave the house with bare shoulders.

The reason I find this Indian man behavior so offensive is that it seems to disregard all the progress I hold dear.  The impression I’m left with is the cliche high school jock who says, “C’mon baby, you only wore that shirt to tease me,” – but these men are in their 30s.  I happen to find the dark features and mocha skin tone of Indian people very sexy.  My attraction is negated by an obvious assumption I’m eagerly awaiting a hookup.  The heavy petting I’ve experienced from Seattle men in general has been mostly awkward and lackluster even when I’m totally into it.  Making me uncomfortable beforehand with eerily polite sexism is quickly becoming a deal breaker.