I pop zits.  I know I’m not supposed to but I do anyway.  Nothing makes me crazy like a bump.  I’m not particularly vain, It’s a textural thing.  Same compulsion that makes me pick at scabs.  Unlike scab-picking (which hurts) zit-popping has a visceral element of relief.  A gooey white glob of gunk erupting from the peak of a tiny, engorged pore.  An effect I can only call gratifying.  I’m not too concerned admitting this since I suspect facials are a Brazilian way of doing the same thing. 

The first objection I always hear is – Popping zits leaves scars!  I must be the exception that proves the rule?  I introduced Neosporin into my skin care regimen at age 12.  It’s important to know the difference between a pimple and a zit.  You can get all the other tools you need from the store.  Before any procedure, I palpate to check depth and level of inflammation.  Zits have to ripen properly if you want to avoid scars.

Occassionally, some pimples are more than a bump the way hurricanes are more than a storm.  They start as a soreness, deep down under the skin, near the bone of the skull.  An echo of a bruise from a tiny imperceptible spot.  And like a pearl forming the spot grows bigger and redder.  Like a horn budding from atop my eyebrow, the  Today, I did minor surgery on my forehead.  I went after a pimple like it was a splinter.

It might have touched a nerve because I figured something out.  I’m a mistake.  My sense of worthlessness is not a figment of my imagination.  Maybe that’s more than you need to know about me.  If not, be sure to read the book.

There is room in any duality for personal independence.  I can see my shadow and she is beautiful too.  Ritualistic societal norms are essentially parts in a grand production I feel I’ve been forced to watch far too long.  I’ve seen the pinnacle of this tower.  I’d rather go live on the mountain.  I’m not too concerned.  I can go into hiding any time.  I’m never a person of interest, especially as a brunette.