I have trouble saying OKCupid without exasperation in my eyes. My personal online dating history goes back to BBS/IRC (think dial-up modem, the slow kind), so I’ve been tilling this field most of my life.  As quickly as internet technology developed in the 90’s, lonely people found newer, faster ways to sift through profiles of other lonely people.  For mainstream purposes, Yahoo! Personals was the first free online dating service.  The Yahoo! heyday was turn-of-the-century Y2K era.  Craigslist was in its infancy and Google was just beginning its Katamari roll toward world domination. 

By age 21, I’d limped through roughly half-a-dozen 3-6 month relationships meeting guys at bars.  Classically serial in my monogamy, I also left a trail of bruised egos and hurt feelings in my wake.  Self-ostracized, I turned to my only social scene left – the internet.  The internet isn’t a friend you can truly know until you live alone.  Family life and even roommates impede the nefarious relationship that exists between an adult and her GUI.  Intimately alone with my wild imaginations, internet access adds the devil’s spice.

The personals service granted everyone a free profile but men’s profiles required an upgrade to a paid account if they wanted to send messages.  Us ladies did exactly what we do at bars – sit there and wait or be aggressive and take the lead.  Pretty ingenious marketing actually.  So I jumped on the Yahoo! train and lost a few months of my early 20’s to socially awkward encounters and E.X.C.E.S.S.I.V.E drinking.  One time, I choked on a shot of tequila and it came out my nose.  That’s a tame story.

After sloughing through that mess, on the brink of accepting utter dating failure, a new guy pops up.  He messaged me, meaning he had to pay for a subscription to Yahoo! Personals.  That’s embarrassing enough in and of itself. This guy very honestly stated that he only paid the money to contact me and asked for a chance.  Present day, I’d call bullshit.  In 2002, I followed the lead.  After about 4 months, I’d struck gold with a quality relationship and got away from online dating (and, more importantly, all of social media) for good.

Until recently.  After seeing The Break-Up Show 5, I had to go check out OKC.  Compared to Yahoo!, the only change is improved sorting efficiency and wider availability.  Free is still free, if ya get my drift.  So far, I consider myself lucky for lessons learned.  Most of my online decisions are informed by mistakes made in a fortunate prior life.  In the past, the only real damage I suffered online was emotional.  Now online dating puts me at risk for exponential amounts of social damage and in rare cases, actual physical danger.

I’m glad for my post-90’s internet ignorance.  Mixed with my inherent wisdom as a Southern Woman, I feel vaccinated against some of the most obvious pitfalls in the dating game.  That’s not to say I won’t make glorious new mistakes on these here interwebs.  If I do, you will probably hear about it.