The main thing I avoid when selecting favorite people and places is drama.  Unless there’s a stage show, in which case the drama should be dialed up to at least an 8 or 9.  Unscripted drama had its time when we squished reality up against a TV camera.  The value of that genre lasted about as long as shock rock.  Writing and directing the chaos that we seek is best left to a collaboration, like bullfights.  That doesn’t mean I won’t watch when it’s free. 

I accessed the part of myself that identifies with my mother.  That was the last step.  Now I’m standing at the open door and it’s time to jump.  I’m still scared but at least I don’t feel like I’m forgetting anything.  The dangerous part is lack of a deadline.  There’s no way to mimic demand and any attempts result in undue pressure.  I have the most support possible at my disposal and all I want is to be alone.  There’s something about the blind faith people have in me that’s disturbing.  Definitely not motivational.