Lennon said, “Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” Yoga teaches us to live in the present. So I stopped making plans. My stress level went down and I stopped flaking on plans. There are demons inside of me actively trying to disrupt my life. The mere act of considering doing something wakes them up and their goal is to sap my energy. From doing yoga to making a date, any hint of motivation draws them out. They manifest as a small voice whispering in the back of my head. “You shouldn’t bother. It won’t work out anyway. You aren’t good enough to succeed.”

I used to fight them. Power through the negativity and force myself to act. Grit my teeth and suffer their shame whenever I wasn’t perfect. Even when successful in my plans, exhaustion from the struggle was all too real. I believed fighting hard enough would eventually destroy them and I would be free to enjoy my life. The problem is, those demons are as much part of me as my shadow.  Trying to defeat them is as useful as cutting off my leg because the knee hurts. I believe there has to be a better way.

I remind myself, those demons are my own fear. That’s when I remember my favorite mantra of all time from Dune – Fear is the little death. The entire litany is worth reading if you haven’t but that line sums up the idea for me. It gives me the courage to ignore fear the same way I ignore impending death. It won’t go away but letting the emotion pass clears my way toward accomplishment. Moving past evil whispers about my own failure, I discover plentiful stores of motivation. After that, the trick is stopping myself from doing so much I deplete all of my energy.