Category Archives: Places

Where I’ve been and where I’m going.

Everywhere Is the Same

January 31, 2016Daily Life, P & H Cafe, Quick Thoughts, RandomRo

Last night was a perfect night. Good music, good friends and a room full of beautiful people. Makes me wonder why I left. Except I know the same fun surrounding me last night is also in Seattle. I spent most of the night listening to music and hanging out alone. I can do that just about anywhere. I’m not sure the music will be as good in the PNW places I find but that’s just because Memphis has spoiled me.

I asked a boy in Portland if the city has any blues or soul music. He said, “Sure we have blues but not really any soul – mainly because we’re all white!” He was attempting a bad joke but I find it very telling. I’m lily white and yet I know what soul is. For all the progressive outlooks in the area there are clearly some cultural gaps in my new home. Maybe it’s part of my job to help rectify that.

Actually

January 6, 2016Art, Large Events, mur, PlacesRo

I’m actually leaving home. The idea of How To Leave Home started as a simple thought while I was in Seattle for a pizza party. Circa May 2014. I wondered to myself, what exactly is the process of changing everything? With all the joy and optimism I could muster, I threw myself into a project I did not fully understand. My gut knows. When I follow my gut, the story progresses. Gut-wrenching though it may be. Speaking of that, here’s the actual map of my road trip across the United States.

I’m doing some research on stopping points and days on the road but I’m going with an optimistic 3-4. 44/8 = 5 8-hour shifts plus 1 4-hour shift. Stop off in Santa Fe. Watch the sun rise over the Grand Canyon. Sleep near Sacramento. I doubt I’ll stop in Portland but you never know.

How much does FedEx charge to overnight cats?

Roach Hell

January 5, 2016Art, P & H CafeRo

I did it. I broke the seal on my savings account and started the inevitable outward flow of liquidity. It’s in exchange for the momentum to head west. I’m comfortable where I am. I like the people and things in my life. I’m settled in a way I’ve never known before. If it wasn’t for all the hard work past me put into this Seattle thing I could be tempted to stay. Sitting comfortably on my pile of savings, watching it trickle away.

So I sent the deposit check and won’t think about it again till I’m there. Just how I planned my wedding. This is the closest to seizing the day I can get. I’m still in shock. I have a permanent grin and everything is brighter. I am already moving, ever so slowly, and more perceptive people can tell. I’m known for disappearing but I don’t know how anyone could miss this train. I’ll be pulling out of the station for at least 3 weeks.

A month ago, I started treating every time I see someone like it could be the last. I might never stop doing that.

Creeping Sadness

January 3, 2016Book, Daily Life, P & H Cafe, Quick Thoughts, RandomRo

Words and feelings seeping out at angles painful to watch.
Emblazoned across the sky for all the moon to see
Not full until she says we can stop
Fulfillment is not something you can buy

Craven, small boys below the bed, sleeping on mattresses from the floor. The floor of where is the question. Location location location. The locomotion of crazy makes a train-ride out of the city hard to ignore. Confetti and silly string is not punk rock, but then again I’m a sap.

I had a pain in my shoulder I can keep off my back with one more reason to go down. Down town to the place where Leroy brown might be found on the ground. A pound can be the puppy or flesh. Ragged, swelling at the sight of blood all over your cock. You don’t mind. You don’t know.

Better to skip the holiday party, in my experience.
Watching the movie is another way to buy into the hype.

Unfiltered

November 21, 2015Art, First Impressions, mur, P & H Cafe, Quick Thoughts, RandomRo

Heavy and sweet
Syruping my throat
Bubbling my words
I croak with the effort
Attempting to make
An eloquent scene
Matching the feeling
My heart exudes
Chances to stare
Chalked up to cliche
Advantage, honor code.

The most glaring gaps
Are the simplest thing
Moments not shared
Sushi not eaten.
Shows not binged
Impulses not rewarded.
What hurts run deeper.
Habits accounted for
Mutually budgeted time
Comfortable ideologies
Pets only we share.

I consume less alone.
An unforeseen loss
Interest in longevity.
Lies always exist
Worming around corpses
Of first impressions.
Creating space inside
Filled with love, or pride.
Glaring ego glimmering
Over a tundra of feelings.
Freedom and expression
Can be mutually exclusive.

Racism

November 14, 2015Art, Daily Life, mur, P & H Cafe, Quick Thoughts, Reasons for Things, StoriesRo

In vocational school I spent some time training at The Med. On my first day, Tanya and I were walking back from the ED (Emergency Department) where we’d dropped off a patient. A man and his wife came rushing up to me and asked where he should go to find his family member. I immediately ceded the floor to the employee standing right next to me.

They stood there, mouths agape, unable to make words. Why the hesitation? My confusion cleared up when I saw the look on Tanya’s face. Pursed lips and the dead-eyed determined glaze of a woman dealing with idiots. Just then a young man in a long white coat rushes up to the couple with that comforting sense that he’d been looking for them all along. The triad frantically wanders off and we keep walking.

I looked at Tanya and she looked at me. “You saw that, didn’t you?”

I cast my eyes down, “Yeah,” I sigh, “It’s what I think it was?”

“Yep.”

Gash: S&M Punk

November 13, 2015Art, First Impressions, Hi Tone, Memphis Punk Festival, mur, Quick ThoughtsRo

I’m watching two sexy women salaciously roll around on top of each other in front of moderately attractive dudes playing hardcore music. There’s a submissive in the corner doing some strange form of masochistic yoga in-between songs/lashings. The mosh pit is a haze of beer, sweat and glitter. There was a time I’d feel insecure even watching this show. Now I’m wondering if I should join in. I was offered glitter before the show by an Amazon in thigh-high black vinyl boots and a shiny rainbow bikini. I politely refused while slowing inching away. I’ve been glitter-free for almost a year now. I’d like to keep it that way.

***** Continue reading Gash: S&M Punk →

Taphephobia

November 5, 2015Art, Daily Life, mur, P & H Cafe, Quick Thoughts, WotWRo

The task is 1000 words. Five down nine hundred ninety left. Continue reading Taphephobia →

Liability Coverage

November 3, 2015Art, Daily Life, Ernestine & Hazel's, Future Plans, mur, P & H Cafe, Places, Quick Thoughts, StoriesRo

Three crazy days draped in haze
Foggy memories, litter the roads
Masquerades and monsters’ ball
Selfish shindig shoveling dirt on egos
Alone in the corner, content with my lot
Socialites strained through indifference
Weep and wail, stone faced security
Seeking reparations for years not lived
Same age as a car my father owned
Resale value is relative. I’m a classic.
Hurtling down hills caked in obstacles
No insurance for the worst case.

Continue reading Liability Coverage →

How To Leave Home

In the absence of fear your only obstacle is time.

Category Archives: Places

Everywhere Is the Same

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Actually

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Roach Hell

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Creeping Sadness

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Unfiltered

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Racism

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Gash: S&M Punk

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Taphephobia

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Liability Coverage

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