As a working stiff it’s vital that I have at least one mindless television show to escape into after a long, hard day. Someone mentions Penny Dreadful and so I give it a try. It’s a Showtime creation and labeled as British-American, whatever that means. I watched more HBO as a kid and remember only tuning into SHO after 11pm when things like The Red Shoe Diaries aired. Even then, I liked Real Sex more. The violence and sex of today’s Showtime seems less seedy, almost antiseptic, compared to the things I saw in the 90s.As if the prudes said, “Well if you’re going to show it, at least make it clean.” Continue reading Pity, Dreadful.
Category Archives: mur
How To Leave Home
The key to my sanity is not using Facebook for anything substantial. I didn’t have one until 2014 and only created it for professional purposes. After leaving Memphis, I discovered the network’s draw in a whole new way. A deep connection to Facebook blurs reality and interpreting anything through the lens of etiquette established on the internet is risky at best. Facebook especially seems to have an elaborate set of rules about communication and privacy to the degree my own mother’s feelings are hurt when I don’t accept her friend request. Apparently sharing a blood supply isn’t a reassuring enough relationship. Continue reading How To Leave Home
Grab My Pussy
I like comparing the Bill Clinton BlowJob Scandal to the infamous “I grabbed her by the pussy” statement of today’s president. They aren’t the same thing at all and yet show where our society’s standards are on a spectrum of sorts. Honestly, I see it as a type of mass mental disorder for humans perpetually seeking meaning in a merciless world. There’s probably a way to measure exactly how far up your own ass someone can get, right? I propose we call it the Asshat Scale. Continue reading Grab My Pussy
Current Affairs
I’ve grown so much so fast I have stretch marks on my brain. I’m where I want to be. I’m a person that doesn’t talk to my family or check in on birthdays. Gift giving and family vacations have become so lopsided it feels like charity and I don’t actively participate in that either. I can’t afford to visit my hometown and even if I did, I’d only tell certain people I’m traveling. My chosen family loves that I exist while my blood relatives seem to generally disapprove. I’m pretty sure someone I share DNA with voted for Trump and I’m afraid to ask who it is. I’ve been sheltered in a completely new way since moving to Seattle. Continue reading Current Affairs
Separation
In high school, my boyfriend was my best friend and refuge from a world I don’t understand. We knew from the outset our relationship would end when we left for college. The idea of going to the same school didn’t even come up for discussion. One of the reasons our relationship worked is because of the expiration date. Knowing we weren’t together forever was the pressure valve on any disagreement. We stood by each other dreaming of different futures and were content for the company. Neither of us saw a future in Memphis and pretending otherwise was silly. Continue reading Separation
Hiking
I went snowmobiling in Steamboat Springs, CO when I was 16. All of my good vacations were other families’ trips and this was no exception. On the first day, we took ski lessons. I had the muscle tone of a veal cutlet at the time so the result was lots of falling down. The very next thing we did was ski lift to the top of the mountain where there was a very nice restaurant. The plan was to ski down. With me and an 8-year old in the party, the decision was made to take the winding green circle path to get back to the lodge. Continue reading Hiking
Nuttin
Stuck between two regulars that have accepted their fate, I’m depressed. I can feel the spot on the left side of my temple where I want to push the barrel in deep. I can feel the other side of my skull exploding outward, making such a mess. I don’t want to leave anything for people to clean up. I’m not inconsiderate, just hopeless. My own parents have disowned me. My sisters pity me. Friends pretend to support me until I actually need help. The warm sting of my presence is a good reminder of how bad it could be. The threat of my absence slowly gains appeal. Continue reading Nuttin
The New Godzilla
If I hear anyone talk about seeing a new Godzilla movie, I immediately lose respect. Nothing about any Godzilla movie is ever new. It’s all the same terrorific drama in a different sequence. I believed the tiny Japanese scientists just as much as Matthew Broderick. The most innovative thing a Godzilla movie ever did was battle Mothra. Or something. I’m not sure if I’m jealous of their ignorance or bliss. Continue reading The New Godzilla
This Guy
Keeps making me think something great will happen. Sexually frustrated and emotionally unfulfilled, it’s like a bad parody of my marriage. Except this guy is a bigger asshole. I’m just waiting for him to find some girl’s ass to crawl up. Then I’ll be alone for all these plans we’re making. He doesn’t know he’s doing it. His genuine naivety would be adorable if it wasn’t so tired. Every person he meets thinks he’s charming. Every girl he eyes sees through it and that doesn’t stop them from enjoying the attention. Continue reading This Guy