My job, starting Monday, is to go to yoga class every day Monday through Friday and be present in everything I do there. Continue reading Yoga!
Category Archives: mur
Health Cares
I just finished a 5 minute phone call with the most compassionate robot I’ve ever met. Continue reading Health Cares
Departures
Dropping someone off at the airport is probably the best way to feel at home in a city. After a week of fun imported directly from Memphis, I’m on my own again. Except now it doesn’t feel as strange. I have claimed little parts of Seattle as my own and spending time with someone not living here accentuates the progress I’ve made. Granted some of the locals aren’t sold on my place in the city but fortunately most of them live north of me.
I took a side trip east this afternoon. A friend offered free laundry and I jumped at the chance. One month has passed and I’m still unemployed. My stress level is mounting and only yoga can save me now. Next week is all about finding a good spot to take class. I have a few options but there’s a 3 week Iyengar intensive on sale for only $99 – that seems too good to pass up. It’ll justify the bus pass I paid for too.
#punklife
“Where can I find a good punk scene?” she asks.
“What exactly is it you think punk is?” I reply to the adorable pixie-girl with a purple mohawk. She giggles and admits she doesn’t know. It’s surprising how often I hear beautiful young people complain that the punk scene is just not what it used to be. There’s a subculture of post-punk children that are brainwashed to think they have come too late to be involved in a real punk scene. They shave their heads, sew patches on their denim and pay too much money to see old guys play music that only mimics days long passed. How can they be nostalgic for something that’s literally right in front of them?
The core of punk is less a music genre and more a way of life. The music ranges across a vast spectrum of styles but there’s a consistent energy almost bordering on angst in every group. Something soulful and genuine that can’t be cultivated – only unearthed. The best way to maintain legit punk status is to continually not care what other people think of you and your art. That’s exceptionally hard to do, especially in today’s instant-gratification social mediaverse. And the irony is once you’ve discovered what it is to be punk, the meaning changes again. It’s a concept that never stops moving because it’s so close to the beating heart of society.
The calling card of any healthy punk scene is having fun on stage. But that is a temporary part of the underground whole. There are very few days of glory for someone living a truly punk lifestyle. Most days involve working for someone you don’t respect and complaining about things you can’t change. The monotony of everyday life washes up against you like waves on a beach until you’re so fed up you can’t hold it in anymore. That’s when the artistic element of punk emerges, raw and gasping from underneath the cruel nihilism of entropy.
My Leaf Collection
My interest in marijuana predates wanting to living Seattle. Now that I’m here, apparently I should work in the industry. I have years of experience selling weed, just not in a storefront. My confidence in the product is based on an unshakable foundation – I’m a living expert that’s just scientific enough to differentiate objectively. I have a story for every strain I’ve tried and genuine interest in helping people find the type of THC that works for them. The options for pot consumption are so broad there’s almost literally something for everyone.
During my drive west there was a point when my drug stash became a cannabis collection. Two huge jars full of baggies gathered from over 2 years of various trains making their way into the midSouth. Some of those bags are completely stale and won’t smoke for shit but the memory is strong enough for me to preserve the actual plant matter. Vacuum packing weed strains and keeping them fresh like bottled wine is right around the corner. I already know that like any other crop, marijuana can have different yields from different cultivation and the difference matters. I want to curate a collection that’s preserved like jarred fruits so I can enjoy these varieties for years to come.
From the Dugout
I’m technically a smoker. However, I detest cigarettes. A few times a day I excuse myself, step outside and take a couple hits off my bat. Just one inhale, sometimes two out of a small pipe that resembles a cigarette. A wafting smell of something that’s not tobacco and I step back inside. Usually this is 25 feet away from an entrance or on mostly private property but sometimes I’m just walking down the street. No one notices or cares. Just another smoker on the street. When I pull out a blown glass pipe in the same situation, the entire tone changes. Stares, whispers, attention.
The paraphernalia carries a connotation – you know, the doing drugs kind. I transform from a smoker into a junkie. Okay, not quite as extreme as that but what if I change the venue to a public park? The movement for medical marijuana has foundations in children’s medicine while smoking pot next to a playground is illegal? Marijuana is supposed to be available to anyone 21+ and yet holistic medicinal applications are forgotten in the gleeful rush of recreational use.
I understand the desire to protect children from scenes of unfettered drug use and debauchery but that’s not the situation we’re talking about. The difference is in the user, not the substance. I choose to smoke because that’s what works for me. All I ask is the freedom to inhale with the same impunity as cigarette smokers. That’s what I already do with my stealth method. I’d rather be able to use a pipe because it’s easier on my throat. That shouldn’t be too much for the general public to swallow.
Parallels
I’m on my way to store the car. It’s been a month and having a car is already more of a pain than not. I actually turned down a job in Fremont because of the commute.
I’ve stopped by the Streamline to mark the occasion. I was able to do a 2 point parallel park on a Queen Anne downhill slope in order to snag a parking spot right next to the door. No one saw it, but I know it’s there.
I am a great driver. I could never stand putt-putt though.
Cost of Living
The most poignant parts of my life happened in books. Every time I discover something great it’s with a fictional companion. Not a wonder I feel destined to write a story. In the meantime, I’m working on telling my stories out loud. I’m the Jane Austen character that wishes she was Jane Austen, not believing in myself is part of the magic. That ability to zone out and take apart the world around me. Not caring what people think and simply continuing on my mission.
I feel freer now than I ever have. The problem is it hurts to breathe. I’m not wanting for anything except more time to process things. Constant sources of entertainment and new experiences. Potential to start over in career paths I once loved. Living in denial this long is a bit like leaving a cult (or a bunker). The cost of living in my previous life was so infinitely higher than here. Shifts in resources have been dramatic to say the least but the difference is truly the human resources.
Some family networks are too large to fail. Fortunately, I found a great divestment option that only costs me biological children. A prodigal soul made better by the journey, regardless of results. I come from a fertile bunch and resisting the call of motherhood was never an easy decision. My only problem is sapiosexuality doesn’t promote good genetics. I’m not a physical specimen that should get replicated. That said, I’m pretty sure I gave birth to a religion recently, so I might live up to my original namesake.
Drahmah
The main thing I avoid when selecting favorite people and places is drama. Unless there’s a stage show, in which case the drama should be dialed up to at least an 8 or 9. Unscripted drama had its time when we squished reality up against a TV camera. The value of that genre lasted about as long as shock rock. Writing and directing the chaos that we seek is best left to a collaboration, like bullfights. That doesn’t mean I won’t watch when it’s free. Continue reading Drahmah