Category Archives: mur

Exhibitionist

mur, Quick Thoughts, Random, Reasons for Things, Stories

In college, I was known for having loud sex.  Frequently.  No one in the dorm mentioned anything to me.  I found out when my dorm-mates complained to other people on campus.  I feel embarrassed that I annoyed people unnecessarily because I’m usually quite polite.  To this day I wonder why no one asked me to keep it down.  When watching a loud television they’d ask me to lower the volume.  If I blasted my stereo the complaints would be almost immediate.  I realize sex is a touchy subject but the sounds I make are just noise.  Thick, luxurious noise.

My working theory is they enjoyed the show too much to turn it off.  Kind of sad really.  I was the most entertaining person in the building.  I only dated 3 different men the whole time I was there, so things could get creative.  At the end of that year, someone left a book titled “Sex Ettiquette” and some lube outside my door as a prank.  Joke’s on them because that’s when I discovered the joys of DP.  I hope those girls went on to find their own sex to enjoy.  I’m still enjoying mine at a loud volume.

Center for Sex Positive Culture

Daily Life, First Impressions, mur

Wednesday is traditionally hump day.  The CSPC takes that literally and offers a semi-private party every week for members and their guests.  When one of my better friends revealed his membership I jumped at the chance to check the place out.  To become an actual member I still need to attend a full orientation but this party is the perfect way to try before you buy.  Continue reading Center for Sex Positive Culture →

Please don’t die

Daily Life, mur, Quick Thoughts

I met a Pisces last night. First happy one I’ve met in a long time. So naturally I grab his hand and ardently beg him not to kill himself. I’ve had bad luck with Pisces in the past. Later that night he shoved his finger up another man’s butt.   Continue reading Please don’t die →

Nightmare!

Daily Life, mur, Reasons for Things, Stories

Trapped in the front room of my grandparents house in Nashville, I’m aware people are getting ready to leave.  The family gathering is almost over and I’m tense.  I told my family what I really think and can’t communicate with them anymore.  There’s still love in the house but not warm feelings.  When I try to speak the only phrases I can say are leave me alone, go to hell, fuck off and I hate you.  A clear scale of the same feeling.

I hear a scritching sound coming from underneath the couch.  Searching it out I discover a giant black rat.  He bites me and I don’t flinch so he settles calmly into my possession.  My mother tells me I have to kill the rat.  I know why she says that but I don’t agree.  Killing is wrong.  I offer the rat to a snake and they find a way to mutually exist.  That’s when I find the smaller brown female rate.  Her bites are smaller and don’t hurt as much but she gnaws persistently until I flinch.  The female rat is never fully comfortable with my presence.

It’s time to leave and there are only two cars.  I insist I won’t survive the trip if I have to be in the same car as my family.  My mother refuses to leave me alone and my father dislikes the impracticality of a 4 to 1 division of the group.  I admit that my sisters are welcome to ride with me but I’m driving.  No one is happy with that.  I haven’t told anyone about the rats I plan to stow away with me.  Doesn’t matter that much because they keep escaping every container I try to keep them in.  The rats have no interest in a car ride at all.

When I finally go to pack my things I discover a baby rosy boa near the kitchen.  The tiny thing bites me but I can’t feel it.  Snakes don’t care if you flinch.  Putting the reptile in a large clear bag, I bring it with me to the car.  Now that there’s a snake riding with me the only person willing to get in the car is my younger sister.  Checking Facebook before we leave I see that my friend posted a picture of his father.  I read that his dad died the night before and I start bawling.  I can’t hide the pain I feel and my family asks why I care so much.

Then I woke up.

Extra Version

Art, Daily Life, mur, Quick Thoughts, Rants

Paradoxical qualifiers (ie Extroverted Introvert)
are a blatant rape of the English language
and I’m sick of it.
Introversion is not a symptom of anxiety.
Introverts choose to spend time away from other people
– not because socializing causes stress – (re: Insecurity)
but maybe because we know how to take care of ourselves.
If I appear well-balanced and happy
and you say I’m not introverted
I might wonder why you have an opinion
About how I feel on the inside?

Pegging

Art, Daily Life, First Impressions, mur, Random, Stories

Last week, I stick my finger up a guy’s ass during a blow job. He likes it so much our next date is buying a strap-on together. There’s more to the story but I think it’s easier to just get the important part out in the open.  Talking about sexual exploration and actually trying new things are completely different actions.  After many years of sexual repression, I’m making an effort to talk less and do more. Continue reading Pegging →

You should do yoga.

mur, Quick Thoughts, Yoga

Everyone knows you’re supposed to stretch. The thing with yoga is that it’s not stretching. It’s creating space. Just stretching temporarily makes you feel longer/freer/looser. Creating space is a more permanent goal. With regular yoga you discover space in-between things you thought were rigid. Like ribs. And pelvic bones.

It Ends With Me

Art, Book, mur, Reasons for Things, Stories

I chose not to have a baby.  It’s a decision I’ve wrestled with most of my life.  Having children is an expectation in my family.  Fortunately, I recognize my own flaws and would never inflict my existence on a non-consenting child.  Not to mention how much medication it takes to keep me sane.  Most importantly though – I don’t want to continue the cycle of insecurity and emotional abuse I witnessed in my own upbringing.  So when my loving, long-term boyfriend Tim impregnates me, I schedule the abortion exactly 8 weeks from the day of conception.  I choose not to have the baby because of my gut.    Continue reading It Ends With Me →

Collateral Damage

Art, Book, Daily Life, mur, Rants, Reasons for Things, Stories

Where I came from, pot smoking is as illegal as heroin selling.  I’m not talking about Memphis (for once).  In the 90s, I was a teenager.  Growing up as the target during the War on Drugs wreaked havoc on my psyche.  I wasn’t anywhere near the drugs themselves but honestly, I have PTSD anyway.  America was so thorough during that war they not only attacked people using drugs but made sure to inoculate demographics that might use drugs.  Continue reading Collateral Damage →