Monetarily I’ve gotten much more than $40 worth of parties out of my CSPC AYCE card. It’s impossible to do everything and actually enjoy myself so I chose carefully. The Unleashed! party, held as a fundraiser for SEA-PAH, is the most revealing experience I’ve had and worth far more than the $10 donation. I went into the party mostly ignorant but optimistic. As Brad Pitt says, I like dags. Continue reading Puppies!
When I grew up in the early 90’s it was just called “gay rights”. Posited as an agenda by the mainstream, I didn’t see the complaint. Even at 11, I knew people should love whoever they want and trying to control that is just plain silly. So I’ve supported the gay rights movement my entire life, no question. By the end of high school the more inclusive acronym LGB gained a foothold. I’m so glad the L comes first. Partially for the feminism stuff but mostly for avoiding the gl- sound. By the time I graduated college, LGBT was the acceptable collection of letters. It stayed that way until I left Memphis, TN. The Q wasn’t even an option. Continue reading The Q
I’m not an expert on dating technology but I’m apparently good at it. I have met multiple stellar friends on Tinder and OkCupid. I even found a quality person on Craiglist once but that was back in the dark ages; I got lucky that time but only in the sense of not getting raped and murdered. I possess a unique combination of confidence and intuition. My willingness to stab someone in the throat in self defense is just a learned skill from growing up in Memphis. Overall, I’m well-equipped to meet almost anyone and give them at least 30 minutes of my attention. After that, you better be worth my time. Continue reading OKC Corral
There’s a difference between making someone come and helping someone come. Therein lies the spectrum of human sexuality. I spent my whole sex life trying to make my partners have orgasms. All that I wore, said and did was in effort to get them off. No concern for my own pleasure or pain, stopping before their climax left me unfulfilled. The mentality of trying to force an orgasm elicits frustration almost from the start. Making someone do something implies an oppositional approach in general. It’s the same thing driving some people to go down so aggressively you’d think those genitals owe them money. Continue reading Anal Sex
The first rule of Sex Club is there’s no drinking at the sex club. Unlike almost every other sexually charged social event I’ve attended, there is no drinking at CSPC parties. One of the inherent rules in any consent culture is that you must be able to give consent. The only way to feel safe in some situations is knowing you and your partner(s) are lucid and willing. For me, sobriety makes everything even sexier. I don’t need to lower my inhibitions to ask for what I want for the first time in my life. It’s empowering. Continue reading Sex Club
The title to the party stresses the PER. A subtle difference from emphasizing PERV. Most of the other parties I’ve visited at the CSPC definitely focus on the perv. True to my introvert passion, my main interest at this party is writing while in the space. I believe certain locations retain energy people have invested there over time. If I unhinge my mind a little I can usually feel the aura of the place. I guess I’m a hippie like that. Trust me, sapiosexuals think I’m a hottie.
Continue reading Introperverted
I’ve developed a formidable yoga routine that keeps my demons at bay. It’s the only source of fortitude I have against the nightmares spawned in the new Doom. At average difficulty the game lists fearlessness as a key to successful play. They mean it. The heart-pounding action during scenes of carnage are punctuated by breathing room between areas. Rushing headlong at the demons is sometimes the only path to success, even when the horrors I’m facing tickle my sympathetic nervous system. Continue reading Doom
I’s very nice knowing what I need. Most of the drama in dating comes from people confusing what they want with what they need. My approach to sex positivity is finally acknowledging all the shadowy corners of myself I never thought to share. I’ve met people as dark as I am and they encourage me to embrace the darkness. I feel less alone while continuing to stand firmly on my own. My weakness is getting caught up in commitments, aka caring what other people think. Continue reading Commitment Issues
Keeping my mouth shut is a learned skill. I didn’t cultivate it until my 30s due to self ignorance, the opposite of self awareness. Before that, the main source of information on who I am was my parents. My mother especially has opinions about who I should be. The real problem is how long I spent trying to make them happy. If I’d adopted any accountability for my existence back then who knows what kind of bad decisions I could have made. Oh, the gutters I could have woken up in! Now my choices are tempered by maturity and cynicism. I stay quiet and avoid mistakes with patience most of the time. It’s slow work but remaining self aware keeps me in touch with the ultimate goal – happiness. Continue reading Self Ignorance