Category Archives: mur

Cousin Katie

Art, mur, Random, Reasons for Things, Stories

Alone for the holidays is a comfortable place to be. Energy spent on showing interest in the lives of strangers is a tedious tradition. The few blood relatives I actually enjoy talking to are just as disinterested in forced socialization and wear the same type of mask I have on at family pow-wows. The only person I ever connected with outside of my immediate family was my cousin from Florida. She was older than me and possessed an unapologetically big personality, just like her dad. In an extended family where I always felt out of place, Katie showed me a different approach to growing up. Continue reading Cousin Katie →

Hot Hot Hot

Book, Daily Life, mur, Quick Thoughts, Random, Reasons for Things

After less than a year living in Seattle I’ve accumulated more legit friends than I’ve ever had at one time. My lone wolfish quality makes it hard to keep more than one friend at a time. Especially since most of my friends are from such radically different areas of my life. My birthday parties usually involve half a dozen people that look more like a jury than a party. Fortunately my friends tend to be more open-minded and accepting than average humans. The best part about me is the people I know.  Continue reading Hot Hot Hot →

Worst Date

Book, Daily Life, mur, Random, Reasons for Things, Stories

I should stop being nice and just listen to my gut when it tells me not to go on a date. It’s a different feeling than just not wanting to go out. Part of being introverted involves feeling like your home is the only safe place on earth. Those days happen perpetually and can’t be predicted. Part of getting to know myself is discovering the line between anxiety and introversion. We all have layers of stress affecting our psyche in a myriad of ways. The only universal truth is that too much of it is bad. Continue reading Worst Date →

Job Opportunities

Daily Life, Future Plans, mur, Reasons for Things, Yoga

Raining when it pours. Snowing when it’s cold enough. I’ve gotten two job offers this week. Both because my friends stepped in to help me out. Just reinforces what I believe in the first place – I’m worthless until someone vouches for me. Not so bad considering how many people need help to get started. Especially here, in a place where I’m alone. The people helping me didn’t even ask for a good reason. They just like me, regardless of what I can offer them in return. Fortunate for them, I have quite a bit to offer. Continue reading Job Opportunities →

NES Classic

Art, Daily Life, First Impressions, Games, mur, Rants, Reasons for Things, Stories

As silver linings go, the muted gunmetal gray of an NES Classic is pretty sweet. My gut told me to purchase one when it was available and I did. Also had a great $15 of sushi for lunch. Then I returned a call that shattered my dreams all over the low-pile corporate carpeting. Sigh. At least I got something valuable for my time. Even if I don’t have a TV to play it on. I’ve rigged an old computer monitor to give me video but without the classic video game music it’s not the complete sensory experience I require for a full flashback experience. Continue reading NES Classic →

Art, Daily Life, Future Plans, mur

My life doesn’t feel like my own anymore. Supportive people all around as I slip into a well of loneliness. It’s not their job to save me. The only hope is to look down and recognize my own legs. My body has changed from a baby-fattened, insecure woman into strong, solid muscles with tits. I can feel the fun parts of me rising to the surface. Life-affirming, purpose-having fun. I simply need a source of income. I prefer one that I earn for semi-regular work done. I’ll take charity in lieu of that. I make a pretty stellar professional volunteer. Continue reading →

Hype

Art, Book, Daily Life, mur, Reasons for Things

Making friends is weary business. Not my strong suit, I have two basic approaches. The first is just getting along right off the bat. Some special humans bypass all my shields and walls to meet me directly. In that rarefied time I usually embrace the connection and do what I can to make it last. Unfortunately, this immediate empathy often scares the other party off. Either they don’t feel it or worse, reject knowing me. I come on a bit strong for people that make friends easily. My fierce loyalty is a blessing and a curse. Continue reading Hype →

Suicidal

Art, Book, Daily Life, Future Plans, mur, Quick Thoughts, Rants, Reasons for Things, Stories

One statistic I read said that people who talk about committing suicide are less likely to do it. Successfully, at least. This was after Wade died and I made a vow to not be one of those vapid, narcissistic assholes that brings up suicide every time emotions run high. I did enough of that as an early teenager to last forever. I’d scream at the top of my lungs about unfairness and how much I wanted to kill myself. I probably really felt that way at the time. Back then, I felt everything to such a high degree I can’t remember what’s real sometimes. Continue reading Suicidal →

Nothing Left

Book, Daily Life, First Impressions, mur, Rants, Reasons for Things, Stories

This time last week, I was celebrating my chance to work at a company I love. Today I was told having marijuana in my system makes me ineligible to work. I knew this ahead of time. That’s why I used a system cleanse to flush myself out before peeing in a cup. This method has worked for me before. Many times. Apparently 1 out of 4 is the statistic I needed to watch out for.  Continue reading Nothing Left →