My work situation is frustrating enough I’m talking to strangers about it. I have a strange compulsion to organize everything around me. Not because the disarray bothers me but because I know it will ease the work of others. Watching someone try to cross a bridge that’s poorly made makes me want to build a better bridge so I won’t have to worry anymore. I know the simpler solution is to not care in general but I just can’t seem to do that. Continue reading The Office
I’m reading the The Help at work and it’s making me homesick. I’m often surrounded by a group of individuals who believe the attitudes portrayed in that story are from ancient times. They have never witnessed that type of behavior outside of news stories and performance art. I still fondly remember my grandmother’s black maid Dorothy and the role she played in my family. My grandparents were truly from another era and they weren’t bad people. Their life-long employee got job security and a pretty decent retirement plan. More than I’m getting out my current employment opportunities. Continue reading My Secret
Being there to watch a phenomenon isn’t that impressive. In the new phone culture, there’s a fascination with being the person that filmed something. I can feel the same compulsion at times, despite not excelling at visual arts. When I take a picture or grab a video there is always a little bit of me wondering if I’m capturing history. Granted, some of my subject matter holds more potential than others. When it comes to being a witness, I’ve found the events worth capturing on film aren’t the ones you can wait around for. Or maybe telling stories is my consolation prize for lacking dedication to photography.
The biggest challenge of being there is having patience to know the right move when you see it. Right place, right time. With good timing and fearlessness you can seize the day by it’s scrawny little throat before thinking messes you up. These days, by the time I realize I’m nervous I’m already elbow deep in whatever project. Too late to turn back and quitting isn’t an option. Just keep turning with the wheel until you get another chance at the center. Enjoy the stillness of that moment and then get ready to start moving again.
Some would think the threesome I had this weekend is worth posting about. In some ways it is. Just not the sexy ways. I’m still a bit shaken by the whole experience because it happened with no discussion first. Continue reading Menage Blah
I am reading the book. An impulse buy in March. I need things to read at work because cell phones are too distracting. I need the surface engagement that’s only found in re-reading the same sentence twice. A metaphysical stutter between the times I talk to disembodied guests. Discovering new worlds with punctuated character studies. A writer’s paradise. I have found the patent office I need to uncover genius. Now I just have to survive. Continue reading Jaws
There’s a hot bartender that I would never have the nerve to talk to. She holds up a Murakami book and I lose all pretense. Norwegian Wood was a beautiful way to discover someone else’s pain. After that, I know my pain is real and I’m not the only person that feels it. One of my first baby steps toward seeing the unity within us. Or something. Continue reading Good Books
I’ve gone to large concerts before. Most of them were to see something I had conjured in my mind while listening to music with my eyes closed. The actual experience was often a disappointment. It took me a long time to learn the difference between loud and good. And of course, this was all before I discovered dancing like no one is watching. The show last night was so good it might nab a place on my top 5 list. I’m certainly more than willing to do it again and that’s more than I can say for most things south of downtown. Continue reading Big Lights, Large City
I’m a boy today. It’s the only way I could get out of the house this morning. Having a fit of insecurity summoned my maleness to stop caring about stupid shit. Donning a man’s shirt I ran a comb through my hair and decided to not care what people see. I’m not manly in many ways but there is a swagger I can pull together. Like a gymnast. Or a jockey. I’ve accepted my status as a butter face. Continue reading Partly Cloudy
Sometimes my cat finds a toy mouse and remembers.
She has a grand time.
Then I notice.
….
The older she gets, the less she cares.