The blue part of my throat
starts in my chest. I move through
the waves
of
thestartofsomething….
What I mean to say is I have trouble separating my throat from my chest. So much of what I feel is centered between my lungs. So much of what I say is drawn from that well of emotion sometimes I know I just shouldn’t speak.
I’m rarely speechless.
I remember a time when I was too young to know any better. I was told one lie and that changed everything. I’d been in a nest of integrity for so much longer … I didn’t know what being in a group feels like, but this was when I started to find my groups.
*Ahem*
I brought it back to the yoga today. The trine of time, energy and intention conjoined an hour before work. I did the 4 poses I need to ground myself. My feet haven’t left the earth since. The 15 minute savasana clicked everything in place. I need that type of grounding with the moon getting all big and shiny like that. I caught myself just in time. The way I avoid trouble is making my own on a much smaller scale. It’s entertaining and I’m remembering things that are important. Like the yoga. See, it works.
I have distinct opinions. I don’t always know what they are
but they are not hidden
For sho
That’s what makes my
brazen behavior feel so natural, even when it’s subtle.
I made a new friend
At least once.
I was even myself almost all day
The feeling that comes
from that
is fear more than anything.
it makes
the idea of getting close
sound uncomfortably out of place.
but that
is why I feel the swarm
of feelings
Stirring in my chest.
At age 14, I was a punk. I don’t remember all the details, but the major signs were there. I frequented the Coffee Cellar, read zines and put RAPE stickers on stop signs all over East Memphis. I got my ear cartilage pierced at a mall kiosk on a 9th grade field trip and I threw a punk-tacular fit when my parents held me down to rip it out. According to the millenial punk rating system, the music I like from that era qualifies me as a fifth level punk. So you can trust me when I say the 3rd annual Memphis Punk Festival is worth your attention. Continue reading Punk Fest 2015→
If you’ve read any of the yoga pages I’ve jotted down, you know I live in a small space. I am in the process of downsizing my material possessions. Also, in a way, part of the yoga things. I’ve defeated an incredible number of nostalgia demons and claimed what I can keep. Before I sell/donate/trash all this stuff, I’m compelled to give my friends first crack at it. Continue reading Moving On→
I am watching Lost
For the first time ever. That means
No spoilers, dickface!
My favorite character – of course.
Glad that’s covered. I’m mostly watching the series alone because a lot of time and planning went into this experience. I’ve managed to avoid (or not remember) any spoilers for over 10 years and I sincerely hope to keep it that way. There are certain people (and you know who you are) that can sense the chance to spoil something and do it involuntarily. One of those annoying habits like a nervous tic. Or halitosis.
So, I’m percolating over here in a new home where every day is full of new experiences and first impressions. My heart wants to be out in Memphis experiencing everything. Instead I’m staying here to experience this television series for the first time. The newness of my reality is an overwhelming wave of sensation every day. I’m pretty sensitive to start with so I’m just going to hide behind six seasons of exciting escapism on a mysterious Forbidden Island. Fortunately, it’s all in keeping with the spirit of How To Leave Home.
I started this weblog because I wanted to become accountable for my own good time. In 2013, I received treatment for major depressive disorder. It was a long, hard spirit quest that taxed me to my limits. In 2014 it started to pay off. I spent almost the entire year wandering around the city like a mermaid that just got legs. The blog is a way to share the experiences I find interesting. It’s also a good motivator to get out off that comfy couch and go do something.
I’m taking a few weeks to experience my new life. I will post what I can when I get out to do things that I just can’t miss. In the meantime, if anyone wants to contribute to this blog, just contact me for details. I want to make How To Leave Home the be something for the community. Basically you just talk about something you did for the first time. First impressions is a pretty broad category, so feel free to be creative.
If you’re stumped on something to do, here are some suggestions of things I might get out for in the next few days:
♦ Grace Askew at DKDC tonight.
♦ New Wave Rebellion plays at the P&H tomorrow.
♦ Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark comedy at Hi Tone Monday the 5th.
♦ Spillit Center Stage: Survival at Amurica Friday, January 9th.
♦ Thelma and the Sleaze at Buccaneer later that same night.
♦ The Memphis Dawls at Layfayette’s on Tuesday, January 13th.
I’m going back in for more J.J. Abrams action. See you on the other side!
Some might have noticed the lack of activity at How To Leave Home. Never fear, I am still here. Just in the middle of a particularly jarring transition – aka moving into a new home. Due to budgetary restraints, I am without internet for the foreseeable future, so my updates may be further apart than usual. Besides, the winter holidays are traditionally for house parties and family gatherings, so I’m sure you’ll be plenty entertained.
Check back with me in a couple weeks when all the dust is settled and you just might find some new things around here. You can keep an eye on the How To Leave Home facebook page for updates. Also the howtoleavehome Instagram has periodic glimpses of my new life. If you’ve enjoyed the first 6 months of the blog I think you’ll be pleased with what happens in 2015.
It’s cold. No matter how many years I live in Memphis, I will loathe that moment when fall disappears. It’s a devastatingly beautiful day but when you walk outside the temperature has dropped 20 degrees in 24 hours. From then on it’s a battle to find heat wherever you can. This year, I’m going to do more than just dig an old coat out of the closet. I want to help fight the cold by sharing some warmth in my community. Fortunately, Tyler Miller of Memphis Punk Promotions has created the perfect opportunity to help those in need. Continue reading MannaFest 2014→
