Category Archives: Rants

I’m Garbage

Art, Book, Daily Life, January 2017, mur, Quick Thoughts, Rants

There’s this person in my life. He’s giving me all the attention but none of the connection. I can pinpoint the moments that exemplify my feelings but doing that only sets up bottles for him to knock down. He’s mastered the art of getting his butt hurt when I say something non-complimentary. I just keep saying things with less and less compassion. As a people-pleaser, it’s safe for me to question the energy exchange in relationships. If I get the inkling I’m being used it’s generally egregious. Most of my vampires are obvious to everyone but me. If I’m looking at being alone or being used, I’m choosing alone. Continue reading I’m Garbage →

Umbrellas

Art, Daily Life, January 2017, mur, Random, Rants, Reasons for Things

I’ve never been fond of umbrellas. Navigating rain in Memphis meant getting to and from a car at varying distances from buildings. Almost none of the places I frequent require anything but a hop, skip or jump from my car door. Opening and closing an umbrella was more annoying than useful. Out here in Seattle, I often see value in a miniature shelter. When you’re waiting at the same uncovered bus stop every morning, or walking a mile to reach said bus stop, there’s great reason to having an umbrella on hand. Just like driving your own car is more convenient. However, there’s a point where you need to park the umbrella and commute like the rest of us. Continue reading Umbrellas →

My Situation

Art, Daily Life, January 2017, mur, Rants, Reasons for Things

I moved rashly.
Minimalist planning,
One foot in front of the other
Baby Steps.
Choose a place, get there, survive.
One, two, three.
Every day I’m striving.
Struggling.
Turning to my gut
Finding strength as I make it.
Making ends meet
Meeting new friends
Determined to do it
Or die trying. Continue reading My Situation →

Moderation

Art, Daily Life, January 2017, mur, Rants

It seems everyone wants to complain just as loudly when their time comes. Maybe even louder depending on how many of their principles are violated by the affront. I derive most of my optimism from ignorance, figuring the best way to avoid strife is to, well, avoid it. Don’t seek out drama in your free time. Plenty will find you on its own. The  standard format of today’s media is to target the populace with whatever fears you’ll most likely react to. Even actively avoiding current events on the world stage only delays the inevitable. Which is better, watching a tragedy approach or getting blind-sided? Continue reading Moderation →

Musings 2.7

Art, Daily Life, January 2017, mur, Random, Rants, Reasons for Things

I love the fact that every person disregarding me today will regret it tomorrow. I make love to that fact every goddamn night. It’s not bitterness or sorrow, just acknowledgement of the waste. Resources better used toward getting laid is funneled into drunken, post-midnight angst. People in-between great love affairs want to believe their drama is interesting. Truth is, that territory belongs squarely to the itinerant loners. Those of us dealing with perpetual rejection and apathy. We only know the love of cold, distant mothers. Continue reading Musings 2.7 →

Year End

Art, Daily Life, Future Plans, mur, Rants, Reasons for Things

I’m at the end of 2016 comfortably sitting in Seattle with opportunity ahead of me. Not as much as I started the year with but I’m thrilled to still be kicking around a chance to do well here. Surrounded mostly by friends I only know a little bit about but not enough to call anyone family. I woke up today with a plan to party accompanied by a trustworthy human. Miscommunication that it was, I am apparently not granted a plus one. Instinctively, that minuses me from the party also. Not only is it far enough away I can’t get there without a ride, I don’t like the idea of attending something so exclusive all by myself. Continue reading Year End →

NES Classic

Art, Daily Life, First Impressions, Games, mur, Rants, Reasons for Things, Stories

As silver linings go, the muted gunmetal gray of an NES Classic is pretty sweet. My gut told me to purchase one when it was available and I did. Also had a great $15 of sushi for lunch. Then I returned a call that shattered my dreams all over the low-pile corporate carpeting. Sigh. At least I got something valuable for my time. Even if I don’t have a TV to play it on. I’ve rigged an old computer monitor to give me video but without the classic video game music it’s not the complete sensory experience I require for a full flashback experience. Continue reading NES Classic →

Suicidal

Art, Book, Daily Life, Future Plans, mur, Quick Thoughts, Rants, Reasons for Things, Stories

One statistic I read said that people who talk about committing suicide are less likely to do it. Successfully, at least. This was after Wade died and I made a vow to not be one of those vapid, narcissistic assholes that brings up suicide every time emotions run high. I did enough of that as an early teenager to last forever. I’d scream at the top of my lungs about unfairness and how much I wanted to kill myself. I probably really felt that way at the time. Back then, I felt everything to such a high degree I can’t remember what’s real sometimes. Continue reading Suicidal →

Nothing Left

Book, Daily Life, First Impressions, mur, Rants, Reasons for Things, Stories

This time last week, I was celebrating my chance to work at a company I love. Today I was told having marijuana in my system makes me ineligible to work. I knew this ahead of time. That’s why I used a system cleanse to flush myself out before peeing in a cup. This method has worked for me before. Many times. Apparently 1 out of 4 is the statistic I needed to watch out for.  Continue reading Nothing Left →