The idea is to do something different.
When everything’s already been done.
So I’m the same now. I’m spouting all of my bullshit onto a computer screen. Not on Facebook, at least.
I pretend no one reads this because that way I’m not disappointed. I’m happy. Nothing I love more than being right. Even when I’m wrong, I tend toward right. The same way you can get clean by not coming into contact with dirt.
If I grew up on the cusp of technological innovation why am I such a shitty typer.
Tada!
I humbly request that the Time Warp Drive-In community honor me with their dubious favour…
In 2016
Please considerA tribute to Dan Aykroyd
My suggestion is Ghostbusters, The Great Outdoors, Blues Brothers, & Trading Places- in that order. I’d love to see My Girl in there but that’s just my nostalgia speaking.
I can’t keep doing this
The formatting in WordPress sucks.
I need more time more fonts more colors more layout MORE MORE MORE MORE
but you get what you pay for. and this is free. Better than nothing.
There I go again…. all comparative and shit. Comparative life. Not good enough to be perfect. Not cute enough to be loveable.
Just dark. I am the abyss.
I have another blog. Shhhh, it’s a secret. Hell, this blog is a secret.
If a writer clicks on a button that says Publish, is she an author?
Let’s play “Did you know?”
Oh yeah. I’m too smart for my own good.
It’s been a wild ride, but I set the date last year. Time to follow through. I’m here.
I want to stop apologizing for who I am
I want the respect I deserve
I’m not going to back down or be bullied.
I HAVE BEEN PAYING ATTENTION THIS ENTIRE TIME.
I won’t apologize for the knowledge I’ve learned
I won’t apologize for the money spent on me
I won’t apologize for the attention
I don’t want any of it. I have been here by contrition the entire time. A silent part of a world I did not create. I have played the game and now I’m winning. People want me. They want to be me. The narcissism is too much to bear.
I’m not Karen Finley. I’m not Joan of Arc. I’m just trying to exist every day. I want love. I want comfort. I want fulfillment. I’m just like all of you.
Why am I different.
It’s not me. It’s the people I know. There’s this scene in a book I don’t remember the name of. Men dance in a circle around one woman. She is the center of the show. They all have erections and each man ritualistically ejaculates into her. This object. A repository. A vessel. They fill her and at the end of the dance the woman, who clearly must enjoy this, is screaming as she is engulfed in flames. That’s how they were able to create new technology. – Fantastic book by a prolific science-fiction writer that I should remember the name of but I don’t so just deal with it.
Knowing things is not as important as you think it is.
I feel like that woman (in the book) except I’m just in pain. I’m not creating anything.
All the other artists have already done this. Nothing is new. Shakespeare already did it. I’m just good at it “for a girl”. No way left to be great. Everything’s documented and if you weren’t there you are here. THAT’S CLEARLY INFERIOR BECAUSE I’M NOT HAPPY HERE. Let’s remember the times we were happy. If we drink enough and squint what we have now looks even BETTER than what we had.
WHY AM I STILL SAD?
I am the sun and the moon
I have not begun to shine
because the world is not ready for me
The pretention
The pride
MY TIMING IS GREAT.
I am trained to do the things you taught me
and I am BORED.
My anger swells and I need a place for therapy.
Look at me. I’m art. I’m pretty. I’m the thing you want. Media loves me. I’m great with the tweens.
I know what I am.
So why am I still sad?
Why am I alone and afraid and looking for a reason to keep going?
I am the abyss. Look into me.
On second thought, Take a picture, it’ll last longer.
I’m tired of apologizing. I’m tired of being afraid.
I work hard and I’m ready to be here.
Do your worst. I’m not backing down.
On the advice of my mentor, I indulged in a new television show – Unbreakable Kimmie Schmidt.
By indulge, I do mean binge watch.
If you’ve read any of the yoga pages I’ve jotted down, you know I live in a small space. I am in the process of downsizing my material possessions. Also, in a way, part of the yoga things. I’ve defeated an incredible number of nostalgia demons and claimed what I can keep. Before I sell/donate/trash all this stuff, I’m compelled to give my friends first crack at it. Continue reading Moving On
I went out last night because it was Saturday night.
That… is a terrible reason to go out.
Some might have noticed the lack of activity at How To Leave Home. Never fear, I am still here. Just in the middle of a particularly jarring transition – aka moving into a new home. Due to budgetary restraints, I am without internet for the foreseeable future, so my updates may be further apart than usual. Besides, the winter holidays are traditionally for house parties and family gatherings, so I’m sure you’ll be plenty entertained.
Check back with me in a couple weeks when all the dust is settled and you just might find some new things around here. You can keep an eye on the How To Leave Home facebook page for updates. Also the howtoleavehome Instagram has periodic glimpses of my new life. If you’ve enjoyed the first 6 months of the blog I think you’ll be pleased with what happens in 2015.
Stay warm and think positive.
– Ro