Category Archives: Quick Thoughts

Blurbs. For the “too long, didn’t read” folks. ;-)

Art, mur, Quick Thoughts, Random

Sauntering by, so sure
The gang of boys
Good boys, old boys.
If you only knew

I see you.
The weak you.
The wanting you.
I see you in a dark room before you fall asleep.
Cuddling. Comfort. Care. Caress.
I can provide these things.
But first you have to do me a service.
Touch me where they said don’t touch.
Wiggle my squiggle with soft attention.
Let me know
That you know
I’m different.
Not you.
Just into you.
Hoping I’m the one.
The prize mare
You choose to breed
And feed
Unbridled affection
For your hopes dreams and desires.

The desire unfulfilled
Yields more empathy
And the story not told
Suspends empty disbelief

Victimism

Art, mur, Quick Thoughts

When asked about your pain on a 1 to 10 scale, always say 10.
(If you worry about opinions, try to ham it up a little.)
The person paid to care dispenses tablets
The rats learn to say it always hurts.
Do we really know pain?
Savoring the searing tattoo needle
Wincing at a sharp word.
Teaching mortals the way of least resistance
Daring heroes to dance with the devil
Deepening dependence on material cures
Numbing the squishy awkward parts
Until there’s not even a seam between the two
Personalities colliding overhead
On the bench, from behind, with 2 fingers.
No Clue.  It’s a game we call Snatch.
Don’t tell them it hurts, just scream.
Only feeling pain, the hunger goes away.
A dull heart beats, aching agony all-consuming.
Just remember no one cares and go to sleep.
This broken system won’t stop working.
Gonna have to break it to get a new one.

Relativity Speaking

Art, mur, Quick Thoughts, Random

Here’s what I think.

When it comes down to it, we don’t get to choose very much. From birth, thousands of decisions are instantaneously made for us.
Age, sex, location.
Name, address, SSN.
Size, weight, color.
Income level, insurance company, citizenship.
DNA map, eventually.
Seemingly unimportant, mostly indisputable, these are the tiny clear rods that Doozers use to build our fragile identities.

After that is just years of abiding by the choices of your literal guardian.  Can’t choose your parents, can’t choose your siblings.  Stuck with whatever blood you have in your veins.  A ticket in the mandatory lottery of existence.  By the time you’re old enough to have dreams most of them are out of reach. Cultivating a culture devoid of artists, minds numbed by aptitude tests and network television.  Remake everything until you can’t remember whose idea is was in the first place.

The medium doesn’t change the message, just how powerfully you get to ram things down throats.  Choking on tropes stuck in the back of my throat.  Holding high standards is relative to your idea of rock bottom.  I giggle at funerals but didn’t murder anyone.

Finished always looking over my shoulder.  God gets to judge His children and I hope not to be here when that happens.  Nothing personal.

Today’s Practice

Quick Thoughts, Yoga

Tadasana to
Uttanasana to
Adho Mukha Svanasana.
Lunge right leg forward and take
Parsvottanasana to
Utthita Trikonasana to
Virabhadrasana II to
Parsvakonasana to
Ardha Chandrasana to
Trikonasana to
Utthita Hasta Padasana to
Parsvottansana to
Virabhadrasana I to
Virabhadrasana III to
Virabhadrasana I to
Adho Mukha Svanasana.
Lunge left leg forward and repeat.
Vrksasana.
Salamba Sirsasana for 3 minutes.
Halasana to
Salamba Sarvangasana for 5 minutes.
Eka Pada Sarvangasana.

Savasana for 10 minutes.

As Saturn Turns

Daily Life, First Impressions, mur, Quick Thoughts

Last night, a truly odd series of steps led me into a parallel universe where people I’ve barely met know me better than anyone in the world. Among strangers, I’m able to shed pretension and relax. No steering against the whirlpool of emotional insecurity, avoiding the eddies and whorls of assumptions and misunderstanding. Previous house parties were always a syncopated dance among cliches of old friends and other-peoples-dates, never quite settling on any real conversation for safety’s sake. I’m unfamiliar with the freedom of tacit acceptance, so easily offered when you come with the right references. I’m not sure I made a good impression, but I definitely didn’t leave a bad one.

Happy New Year.

I, Gumbo

Daily Life, mur, Quick Thoughts, Random

As the year winds down I’m artificially encouraged to summarize the past 12 months. That feels like summarizing every movie at a theater with one sentence. A horrific comedy of fantastic scenarios spread across space and time.

Ever since my non-new-year resolution to embrace change I feel less like a protagonist in my own one-dimensional story and more like a special guest star in various other tales. Sure, my story is still happening. I just feel like it’s best to let it simmer on low for a few while I go explore what existence means through the eyes of others.

From time to time, I’ll come back and add to my crock pot of identity. I’ll let other people get a taste to see if I’m ready. Once the gumbo I’ve used to recognize myself nears perfection, I can serve a feast for everyone to read and enjoy. I yearn for a time when I can sit across from a friend still prodding bits of my story with a toothpick, my personality on their breath.

Sage Advice

Quick Thoughts

Under no circumstances should you EVER have sex with the bartender unless:
1. You never plan to visit that bar again.
OR
2. You plan to marry that girl.

I stand by this statement.

First 15

Art, Daily Life, First Impressions, Games, Quick Thoughts, Reasons for Things

If you like to play games, check out this web series.

Deep down, we all love games in some respect but it’s easy to get lost in the frills of lights, color, marketing! From sports jerseys to quarters in a pool table, money spent on fun is often intrinsically linked to a game in some way.  And money is only the surface cost of the recreational aids we choose.  There’s the time and energy devoted to pastimes once considered only for “kids”.  When MMORPGs emerged, full-grown adults lost jobs due to the siren’s call of DING.  Games make us feel rewarded and satisfied with ourselves.  Tangible goals and achievements used to brighten the barren landscape of daily living.

Most of what I understand of gaming as an industry is tempered through the lens of Tycho Brahe of Penny Arcade, an unconventional think tank of creativity and marketing based in Redmond, WA.  Tycho’s way of phrasing things generally blows my mind about once or twice a year, on average. He provides consistently incisive perspectives that target the human element of gaming and amplify it for effect.  Tycho, joined by his heterosexual life partner Gabe, also regularly appears in a PATV series called First 15 which I directed you to earlier.

Video games come in so many different formats it’s hard to like them all and yet Penny Arcade manages to play all the fields. Marketers of the marketers, they provide an environment that filters through all the nonsense and reduces all gaming to the fundamental question – is is fun?  From innocent, easy games developed to help children with learning disabilities communicate are weighed on the same scale as the most recent megacorporate flagship release part IV.  It’s a refreshing oasis in a world that is literally dedicated to horsing around.

If you don’t believe me, just watch this one video.  It’s the First 15 for Crypt of the Necrodancer – a game I would never even glance at before but now I’m interested in playing.  During the video you get to watch Gabe face something he admittedly sucks at and by the end he’s at least given it a fair chance.  It blows my mind to watch human nature unfold like that.  At the end, Gabe an Tycho summarize their opinions thusly:

“I think that’s something from a nightmare realm” – Gabe

“I want to invest some time in playing co-op by myself.” -Tycho

And yet the game itself is not crucified for not pleasing everybody.  And trust me, some of the games they play are put on a cross and left to die – justly.

Why I Don’t Teach Iyengar Yoga

Quick Thoughts, Yoga

In about 3 hours I’m going to teach a small group of friends some yoga. It’s part of a resolution I made around this time last year. I never expected it to take this long.  Continue reading Why I Don’t Teach Iyengar Yoga →