My official last day in Memphis is February 1st. I’m getting a tattoo (I hope) and then flying home the next day. By the time I say goodbye to Memphis I need to have something to turn towards. I’m facing West now, but it still feels a lifetime away. When I get on a plane with my cats and I have no more reasons to be in Memphis… I’ll probably cry a little.
Triumphant, I will only celebrate when there is truly a reason to do so.
I’m still in Memphis.
Have to be.
Planned to be.
Fear stopped yesterday
Belongings I’m keeping
Outnumber the rest
For the first time in years.
Exes are crossed
Unnecessary dots eyed
Boxes, soulless cubes
Labeled vaguely
Companions for the trip
Semblance of order
Compartmentalization
Compartment syndrome
To ease the pain
Of a lonely journey.
My heart arrives in Seattle tomorrow.
Furniture leaves Friday
I doubt I’m far behind.
I now have WA state car insurance, renter’s insurance and a AAA Premium Membership. I also have a year supply of contacts and 6 months supply of brain medicine.
If I could just start putting things in my car I’d be set.
The further into the game I get the happier I am. Continue reading Child of Light
It all hit me at once last night. The stark reality of what I’m doing. Picking up and leaving a perfectly good situation. Traveling toward the unknown with no way to know if I can make anything of myself. I just started figuring out how to be me and now I’m turning the world upside down. It grips my heart with cold icy fingers. This might be the high point in my life. I could be hurtling along the downward slope to my demise on the West Coast. I don’t understand why I do this to myself.
Fortunately, I have a xanex script. I slept off the worst of the panic attack and spent the rest of today dealing with this knot of nauseating stress in my stomach. Moving things helped. Not having furniture makes all of the boxes look much smaller. Thanks to early training at Tetris I can visualize most of the car packing experience. I have the speakers, head unit, and record player in one corner. The records make a good line. Three rectangle suitcases. CPU, 2 monitors and accessories. The rest is just towels and boxes in alternating stacks. Like cement between bricks.
Then, the drive. I’m stuck on this Grand Canyon idea based on the idea of scenic. I’d rather drive for 45 hours than try to make it in 34 and get stuck at the pass. Stopping could be irreversible. And I have a flight out of Seattle scheduled for January 30th. I haven’t planned any going away party yet. I don’t want to make it that real. But I know I have to go. If I was gonna quit, it would have been yesterday.
So few boxes left
Packed haphazardly
Given away as an act
Good will takes your shit
And someone else
Broke in those jeans
And Sunday clothes.
A Jennifer Aniston gem I never knew about. Star-packed supporting cast and snappy directing. Ah! Written/directed by the same guy that did I Love You Man. It feels way too dated to be from 2004 though. There’s a plot point based on *69. Reminds me of the 90s.
I did some serious cleaning and straightening. Made appointments with all the pertinent people. The final clean out is yet to be scheduled. Despite my desire to just throw everything away and start driving, there are people who want some of this shit. If I was an asshole I could just tell them to go fuck themselves. Problem is, I’m a nice person.
It’s not a choice, I just am. Even when I’m in a tight skirt. Even when I’m turning a guy down. Even when I’m desperately in love. I’m nice. It’s a personality flaw I developed while playing opossum in high school. I figured if I’m going to be miserable all the time anyway, might as well smile. That’s probably the same reason that guy at Juice smiled at me. Funny.
I applied for two jobs today.
I’m gonna start packing the car soon.
This game is beautifully crafted. The watercolor-like scenery and low-gravity flow of movement lends an airy, relaxed feeling. The music composed primarily of piano and minimal arrangement supports the easy-going feeling. Playing on casual seems like the only real option because the interactive play control is painfully slow.
Of course, this is just the tutorial. The battles are a mix of meters and turn-based actions. Interactive enough to keep my attention but lackadaisical enough to avoid pressure. This little girl carries a big sword and her leveling system encourages me to use it.
Plot is pretty cute so far. Little princess falls into a mysterious slumber. She’s trapped in a mystical dreamland that Tim Burton might create for Bethesda. There’s a blue teardrop that aides the redheaded protagonist with advice and ambient lighting. On my Surface, controlling the mouse-based bugger is awkward. When I’m settled in my new place I’ll have my old gaming desktop set up. Can’t wait.