I’m at an impromptu comedy show. No one is on stage yet and it’s already hilarious. I’m overhearing a first date conversation. It’s not intentional. But when two slightly insecure people are in unfamiliar territory with each other it resonates at a certain volume. Continue reading Uhmygawd
Category Archives: Quick Thoughts
The HUMP Film Festival
Go see Dan Savage’s HUMP Film Fest if you ever get the chance.
If you need more endorsement than that – I hope to be in it next year!
Scary Acronyms
I might have chlamydia. It’s a long shot but I take every possibility seriously. Almost anything is true if you consider every timeline. More importantly, it’s true for one of my partners and that sucks for him. Some of his other partners are less than pleased and not shy about voicing disapproval. I’m a mature, well-informed person with an incredibly dark sense of humor. My basic response is no big deal, it can happen to any of us. For me, there are essentially three levels of STDs in America – Curable, Treatable and Oh Fuck. Continue reading Scary Acronyms
In Her Piece
Visiting the CSPC yesterday, I felt introspective. The exhilaration of last week comes with inevitable wear and tear. Fortunately, this isn’t my first rodeo and I listen to the warnings my body gives me. Skipping the party Saturday and giving an erotic massage Sunday helped me recharge slightly. The satisfaction of making someone feel pleasure, especially when they are new to the sensation, is something I enjoy when feeling drained. Not all gratification is related to orgasms. Continue reading In Her Piece
Women Moaning
I happen to like Mondays. The new things I do on that particular night often develop into a habit. False time delineations and human nature conditions the majority to relax on a Monday. For the weekend-centric that usually means a quiet night at home. For me, it means finding like-minded people to spend time with in public. It’s my favorite night for a yoga class when I can find it. Inevitably, the place I end up never has a line and is always low key.
Continue reading Women Moaning
Blood Clot
At very specific times.
I can see why ancient people
Believe sex is evil
Only takes a
dark
crusty
clot of blood
Dropping out of your vagina
After removing a
thick
swollen
wad of cotton.
Following days of passionate sex.
My period this month
Started early.
I blame the whole thing
On Mercury
But it’s more likely
My IUD.
Surprise visits used to
bother me
Knowledge is power
At sixteen
Before the internet was
a thing
A frightened young girl
Might see
Evil in blood
And swear never to do it again.
Right?
Stooping in the shower
Thumb up my pussy
Gliding around the cervix
Sussing out my G-spot.
Feeling extra clean.
DNA detritus
Pooling at my feet.
Happy to be
Right on track.
With what’s best
for me.
What I Want
The last time I was properly spanked, I didn’t see it coming. My friend actually listened when I nostalgically reminisced I hadn’t had a good spanking in a very long time. There’s an art to sexually charged spanking that not all people can master. My last spanking was a pleasant coincidence of empathy and intimacy. A magical reminder of something I was missing. A beautiful moment with a good friend.
My daddy issues aside, spanking puts me into a submissive mode. I relish the attention required to sense pleasure in the pain. Attempts to interpret my screams, testing my limits gradually. A gentle caress or teasing word at the right moment is relaxing. It doesn’t take long before I’m dripping wet. In expert style, he finishes with a sharp bite on my ass cheek and cuddles me onto the mattress.
Right before the bite, he commanded me to tell him what I want. I couldn’t. I didn’t know what I wanted. My voice squeaked and I physically clammed up. He sensed my distress and finished promptly. Spared me the drama of using the safe word, especially since I was mute. I was scared but not fearful. Not having a voice is stressful in normal situations. I’m fortunate to have such a loving friend in my life.
That episode is why I’m seeking out a sex positive environment. The best way to get what you want is by asking. I want to at least be able to ask, even if I don’t get what I want. Of course, my recent experience indicates I’ll find things I didn’t even know to look for. I’m going to a singles party tonight and get to discover what edge play is like.
The Truth About Hillary
Face it. 8 years ago, she backed down and Obama became the Democratic nominee. If we learned anything during the previous Clinton era it’s that she’s a savvy businesswoman. I have no doubt she worked out a clause guaranteeing her nomination after he’s done. She’s arrogant enough, she might have even thought he was a 1-term president. That’s why she bothered with Secretary of State.
Thing is, she didn’t expect Bernie. He’s also savvy. I believe he saw the chance coming long before acting on it. The chaotic vacuum left by such an influential time is unmistakable. We the people are ripe for political revolution. If it’s not this election, it will be the next one. An old, white man saying all the right things is the last thing anyone expected, honestly. If Bernie had tits there wouldn’t even be a contest.
A comically bad show by the Republican party only accentuates the importance of the Democratic nomination. Such a poor show in fact, I believe Hillary got drunk and dared Trump to run. Just for shits and giggles. I mean, what better role for a reality TV actor than playing himself in real life? It’s gotten so far out of hand I won’t be surprised if he accidentally wins the whole damn race.
Seriously people. We have a chance to do something more epic than electing a black man president. Let Hillary and Trump duke it out on the red vs blue stage. Then we can all join together and vote for a third color. A viable 3rd party showing in the race for President of the United States is actually worth a Nobel Prize. America is suffocating because this nation is not a dichotomy. Our ruling body should have at least 3 dimensions by now. Even if Bernie doesn’t win.
Exhibitionist
In college, I was known for having loud sex. Frequently. No one in the dorm mentioned anything to me. I found out when my dorm-mates complained to other people on campus. I feel embarrassed that I annoyed people unnecessarily because I’m usually quite polite. To this day I wonder why no one asked me to keep it down. When watching a loud television they’d ask me to lower the volume. If I blasted my stereo the complaints would be almost immediate. I realize sex is a touchy subject but the sounds I make are just noise. Thick, luxurious noise.
My working theory is they enjoyed the show too much to turn it off. Kind of sad really. I was the most entertaining person in the building. I only dated 3 different men the whole time I was there, so things could get creative. At the end of that year, someone left a book titled “Sex Ettiquette” and some lube outside my door as a prank. Joke’s on them because that’s when I discovered the joys of DP. I hope those girls went on to find their own sex to enjoy. I’m still enjoying mine at a loud volume.