Category Archives: Daily Life

Everything from impromptu thoughts to well-constructed observations.

A Nice Boy

Book, Daily Life, First Impressions, Mecca, mur, Stories, Yoga

My date last night was pleasant. He’s a persistent fellow. Kept in touch with me on Tinder for weeks, a notoriously inconsistent medium. Rewarding dedication, we met in person and chatted about all types of things. He let me ask questions about growing up in another culture and I talked intelligently about yoga with another human for the first time in months. His interest in me seems genuine, even if it’s misplaced. Overall the experience was a 5 of 10 – mainly because we were at the Mecca and that adds an automatic +2 to any situation. Continue reading A Nice Boy →

Rule #4

Art, Book, Daily Life, Future Plans, Large Events, mur, Reasons for Things, Stories

Rule number one is Never Go Back and usually the easiest to follow. A rift in any relationship puts a wake between two people. Left to our own devices each party floats away in their own direction. Well, that would be the natural course of things if human egos and emotional dysfunction didn’t get in the way.  We desperately paddle against the tides in an effort to control fate. Strong feelings are even harder to ignore when they are irrational. Not pursuing feelings so tangible I can taste them feels too much like doing nothing. In order to follow Rule #1, I have to stay looking forward even when I rather lose myself in someone’s eyes. Continue reading Rule #4 →

Good Neighbors

Art, Daily Life, Mecca, mur, Random, Smut, Stories

I knock so gently there’s barely a noise. I fiddle with the belt on my long jacket, a bulging knot of thread where seams meet is starting to fray.  I notice things like that when I’m nervous.  I kinda wish I’d taken a pain pill earlier.  I’d be more relaxed but it’s been over 6 days since my last one.  The longest I’ve gone this year is 14 days.  That was back when I had a job and steady income.  The pain started to seem worth it for once.  I slept more, drank less.  Felt like I finally had wind beneath my wings.  I wasn’t prepared for my first summer job in a port city.  Continue reading Good Neighbors →

Anger Issues

mur, Quick Thoughts, Random, Rants

I’m not quick to anger. I’m whatever the opposite of that is. I cower in the face of strong emotion, head between my knees waiting for the event to end. I react so strongly to perceived violence I once started crying uncontrollably when I thought a cat in a movie had died. Without warning I suddenly feel everything with every cell in my body. The simplest solution is to shut down. I’ve felt my spirit break so many times I should put it on my resume. If I just stare straight ahead and don’t let anyone see me cry everything will work out, right?  Continue reading Anger Issues →

Lay-Z-Girl

Daily Life, First Impressions, Future Plans, mur, Reasons for Things, Stories

I finally have a bona fide home here in Seattle. I have enough pieces of furniture to invite someone to sit down in my apartment without having to show them the bed. I’ve yoga-ed my tiny little apartment into the most comfortable nest possible for me and/or my cat.  I don’t require much personal space if it stays personal.  This staging area is the little extra I need to feel secure in the face of company.  I’m still living out of suitcases in the bedroom but what no one sees I can justifiably ignore for another 6 months.  Continue reading Lay-Z-Girl →

Racial Stereotype

Daily Life, First Impressions, mur, Random, Rants, Reasons for Things, Stories

Someone in Seattle finally explained why every Indian man I’ve tried to go on a date with treats me oddly.  To clarify, I am not discussing skin color – just heritage.  Amazonian imports that hail from actual Asia. My empirical observations reveal a significant pattern.  A certain flavor of sexism I haven’t been exposed to since my youth.  An assumption about my behavior based on how I dress.  Apparently, in Indian culture Americans are seen as promiscuous and slutty.  My body type and personal confidence only accentuate the stereotype.  Continue reading Racial Stereotype →

Please Say It’s Over

Art, Daily Life, mur, Random, Reasons for Things, Stories

I experienced 3 moments of pure pleasure on Tuesday afternoon.  None of them took more than 20 minutes each.  For nearly 2 weeks I’ve been frustrated and sick at my stomach with stress.  Sinking into a morass of depression there are times I literally panicked, taking xanex for the first time in months.  I kept getting one-two punches of disappointment and could feel myself spiraling away from solid ground.  Repeating, “This too shall pass,” I focused on baby steps to keep moving forward.  Tuesday night felt like coming up for air thanks to this particular trine of gratification hitting me like a perfect storm.   In this order – I ate tacos, had sex, and took a crap.  Continue reading Please Say It’s Over →

Overcautious

Daily Life, mur, Quick Thoughts, Random, Rants

There’s a girl on Tinder I like. I want to message her but I don’t. I can already feel her rejection. Of course, it’s not real. She’s probably a nice, open-minded person just like me. Won’t judge on appearances and might even have empathy for me as a human. But then again, maybe she’s an asshole. The fact I find her attractive means I’ll be nervous, greatly increasing the chance that I’ll be the asshole.  Really, it’s just safer to do nothing.  Continue reading Overcautious →