Category Archives: First Impressions

Either my first time at a venue or my first time seeing a show. First impressions can be important.

Introperverted

Art, CSPC, Daily Life, First Impressions, mur, Reasons for Things

The title to the party stresses the PER.  A subtle difference from emphasizing PERV.  Most of the other parties I’ve visited at the CSPC definitely focus on the perv.  True to my introvert passion, my main interest at this party is writing while in the space.  I believe certain locations retain energy people have invested there over time.  If I unhinge my mind a little I can usually feel the aura of the place.  I guess I’m a hippie like that.  Trust me, sapiosexuals think I’m a hottie.
Continue reading Introperverted →

Doom

Art, Daily Life, First Impressions, Games, mur

I’ve developed a formidable yoga routine that keeps my demons at bay. It’s the only source of fortitude I have against the nightmares spawned in the new Doom.  At average difficulty the game lists fearlessness as a key to successful play.  They mean it.  The heart-pounding action during scenes of carnage are punctuated by breathing room between areas.  Rushing headlong at the demons is sometimes the only path to success, even when the horrors I’m facing tickle my sympathetic nervous system.  Continue reading Doom →

Commitment Issues

Daily Life, First Impressions, Future Plans, mur, Reasons for Things

I’s very nice knowing what I need.  Most of the drama in dating comes from people confusing what they want with what they need.  My approach to sex positivity is finally acknowledging all the shadowy corners of myself I never thought to share.  I’ve met people as dark as I am and they encourage me to embrace the darkness.  I feel less alone while continuing to stand firmly on my own.  My weakness is getting caught up in commitments, aka caring what other people think. Continue reading Commitment Issues →

Leather Hairdresser

Art, CSPC, Daily Life, First Impressions, Future Plans, mur, Quick Thoughts, Reasons for Things, Stories

I’m glad I waited for the real thing.  Continue reading Leather Hairdresser →

Sensational Suspense

Art, CSPC, Daily Life, First Impressions, mur, Quick Thoughts, Yoga

Getting tied up is a pretty classic fetish. Hanging from the ceiling while tied up is a little more elaborate. In the world of try it before you deny it, I expected to hang once and never again.

The bruises and rope burn coupled with second day soreness is about what I anticipated. The pure joy I felt – completely unexpected.  Swinging violently through the air, giggling like a school girl on the playground.

Much like mountain climbing, suspension play takes effort, focus and various carabiners. Those working together must communicate well and trust each other.  The end reward is a new perspective on the world around you.

There’s also decorative rope tying.  That’s sexy in a different way.  I’m excited to explore the bondage side of BDSM further.  Next time I’m gonna get my hands tied into reverse namaskar and go for a supported backbend.

Ellipses Menses

CSPC, Daily Life, First Impressions, Future Plans, mur, Quick Thoughts, Reasons for Things

It’s been a stressful month. Some of the stress is fantastically good but that doesn’t make me less tense. My period started early and has lingered too long. I haven’t done enough yoga to compensate and the result is a menstrual ellipsis instead of just my period. Mother nature likes to remind me of my limits when I fly this close to the sun.  Continue reading Ellipses Menses →

Sexual Repression

Art, Daily Life, First Impressions, mur, Reasons for Things, Stories

I didn’t know what the term slut-shaming really meant until yesterday.  Hearing the phrase doesn’t sum up the internal burden of secretly loving sex my whole life.  In Seattle, I can just say, “I’m from the South,” and most people nod in commiseration.  I could detail my specific self-loathing or recall the flavor of bitter I taste but wallowing is self pity isn’t my thing.  I’m happy to know myself enough to be here and look forward to the future.  Continue reading Sexual Repression →

What I Want

Daily Life, First Impressions, mur, Quick Thoughts, Reasons for Things, Stories

The last time I was properly spanked, I didn’t see it coming. My friend actually listened when I nostalgically reminisced I hadn’t had a good spanking in a very long time. There’s an art to sexually charged spanking that not all people can master. My last spanking was a pleasant coincidence of empathy and intimacy. A magical reminder of something I was missing.  A beautiful moment with a good friend.

My daddy issues aside, spanking puts me into a submissive mode. I relish the attention required to sense pleasure in the pain. Attempts to interpret my screams, testing my limits gradually. A gentle caress or teasing word at the right moment is relaxing. It doesn’t take long before I’m dripping wet.  In expert style, he finishes with a sharp bite on my ass cheek and cuddles me onto the mattress.

Right before the bite, he commanded me to tell him what I want.  I couldn’t.  I didn’t know what I wanted.  My voice squeaked and I physically clammed up.  He sensed my distress and finished promptly.  Spared me the drama of using the safe word, especially since I was mute.  I was scared but not fearful.  Not having a voice is stressful in normal situations.  I’m fortunate to have such a loving friend in my life.

That episode is why I’m seeking out a sex positive environment.  The best way to get what you want is by asking.  I want to at least be able to ask, even if I don’t get what I want.  Of course, my recent experience indicates I’ll find things I didn’t even know to look for.  I’m going to a singles party tonight and get to discover what edge play is like.

Center for Sex Positive Culture

Daily Life, First Impressions, mur

Wednesday is traditionally hump day.  The CSPC takes that literally and offers a semi-private party every week for members and their guests.  When one of my better friends revealed his membership I jumped at the chance to check the place out.  To become an actual member I still need to attend a full orientation but this party is the perfect way to try before you buy.  Continue reading Center for Sex Positive Culture →