Paradoxical qualifiers (ie Extroverted Introvert)
are a blatant rape of the English language
and I’m sick of it.
Introversion is not a symptom of anxiety.
Introverts choose to spend time away from other people
– not because socializing causes stress – (re: Insecurity)
but maybe because we know how to take care of ourselves.
If I appear well-balanced and happy
and you say I’m not introverted
I might wonder why you have an opinion
About how I feel on the inside?
Last week, I stick my finger up a guy’s ass during a blow job. He likes it so much our next date is buying a strap-on together. There’s more to the story but I think it’s easier to just get the important part out in the open. Talking about sexual exploration and actually trying new things are completely different actions. After many years of sexual repression, I’m making an effort to talk less and do more. Continue reading Pegging
I chose not to have a baby. It’s a decision I’ve wrestled with most of my life. Having children is an expectation in my family. Fortunately, I recognize my own flaws and would never inflict my existence on a non-consenting child. Not to mention how much medication it takes to keep me sane. Most importantly though – I don’t want to continue the cycle of insecurity and emotional abuse I witnessed in my own upbringing. So when my loving, long-term boyfriend Tim impregnates me, I schedule the abortion exactly 8 weeks from the day of conception. I choose not to have the baby because of my gut. Continue reading It Ends With Me
Where I came from, pot smoking is as illegal as heroin selling. I’m not talking about Memphis (for once). In the 90s, I was a teenager. Growing up as the target during the War on Drugs wreaked havoc on my psyche. I wasn’t anywhere near the drugs themselves but honestly, I have PTSD anyway. America was so thorough during that war they not only attacked people using drugs but made sure to inoculate demographics that might use drugs. Continue reading Collateral Damage
“Have you ever been with a woman,” Dan asks.
“I’ve had intimate encounters with women but nothing I’d call sex,” I reply carefully.
“How do you define sex?” Continue reading Orificexual
At Disneyworld in the 90s there was a state-of-the-art ride that offered a multi-sensory experience inside an alien spaceship. An arena of futuristic chairs encircled a holographic tour guide in the center. Our seats were armed with as many doo-dads as a Dr. Seuss invention and the basis of the experience hinged on reduced visibility. Clever lighting and timed release of things like mist or hot air accompanied the narrative and in-seat surround sound gave the impression of things happening all around the cabin. At one point I even felt an alien brush against me. My 12-year old disbelief was suspended almost the entire time. Continue reading Simulated Reality
Great writing
Creative directing
Deeply funny comedy
That only lacks subtlety
The silverfish
Make up for
The Kardashians
A “racist” punch
At the end
Foreshadows
Glorious darkness.
You know that feeling when you wake up before you have to and you just don’t need to sleep anymore?
Me neither. Not for a really long time. I had forgotten what it feels like until today. I woke up with free time. Yes, it’s just as glorious as it sounds. It’s beautiful outside so naturally I decide to play a game. Continue reading XCOM 2: Embrace the Autosave
I’m back at the Highline again tonight. This time, all female comedy show called #loudmouthcunts. I happened on this show last month and enjoyed it immensely. When I saw a Memphian on the lineup for tonight I high-tailed it to Cap Hill after my Sunday drinking. Continue reading Loudmouth Cunts