The idea is to do something different.
When everything’s already been done.
So I’m the same now. I’m spouting all of my bullshit onto a computer screen. Not on Facebook, at least.

I pretend no one reads this because that way I’m not disappointed. I’m happy. Nothing I love more than being right. Even when I’m wrong, I tend toward right. The same way you can get clean by not coming into contact with dirt.
If I grew up on the cusp of technological innovation why am I such a shitty typer.

Tada!

I humbly request that the Time Warp Drive-In community honor me with their dubious favour…

In 2016
Please considerA tribute to Dan Aykroyd

My suggestion is Ghostbusters, The Great Outdoors, Blues Brothers, & Trading Places- in that order.  I’d love to see My Girl in there but that’s just my nostalgia speaking.

I can’t keep doing this

The formatting in WordPress sucks.

I need more time more fonts more colors more layout MORE MORE MORE MORE

but you get what you pay for.  and this is free.  Better than nothing.

There I go again….  all comparative and shit.  Comparative life.  Not good enough to be perfect.  Not cute enough to be loveable.

Just dark. I am the abyss.

I have another blog.  Shhhh, it’s a secret.  Hell, this blog is a secret.
If a writer clicks on a button that says Publish, is she an author?

Let’s play “Did you know?”

• Nose spray is bad for you.  I know it feels good at first, but that is a trap.  Go get a neti pot and take a fucking allergy pill.
• Your hearing does not last forever. Earplugs aren’t just for hipsters.
• Sunglasses make you look cooler, no matter who you are.
• Vaping makes you look like an asshole.
• There are seriously women who don’t know if they’ve ever had an orgasm.
• Your lymph system is a complex network of squishy trash chutes.  It’s powered by every movement you make – even just breathing!  If it sounds like I’m talking to a child then maybe you have an inner child that loves learning.  Let that kiddo loose.  Knowing useful stuff is what makes you great.  Feeling stuff makes you human.  What was I saying?

Oh yeah.  I’m too smart for my own good.

It’s been a wild ride, but I set the date last year.  Time to follow through.  I’m here.

I want to stop apologizing for who I am
I want the respect I deserve

I’m not going to back down or be bullied.

I HAVE BEEN PAYING ATTENTION THIS ENTIRE TIME.

I won’t apologize for the knowledge I’ve learned
I won’t apologize for the money spent on me
I won’t apologize for the attention
I don’t want any of it.  I have been here by contrition the entire time.  A silent part of a world I did not create.  I have played the game and now I’m winning.  People want me.  They want to be me.  The narcissism is too much to bear.

I’m not Karen Finley.  I’m not Joan of Arc.  I’m just trying to exist every day.  I want love.  I want comfort.  I want fulfillment.  I’m just like all of you.

Why am I different.

It’s not me.  It’s the people I know.  There’s this scene in a book I don’t remember the name of.  Men dance in a circle around one woman.  She is the center of the show.  They all have erections and each man ritualistically ejaculates into her.  This object.  A repository.  A vessel.  They fill her and at the end of the dance the woman, who clearly must enjoy this, is screaming as she is engulfed in flames.  That’s how they were able to create new technology. – Fantastic book by a prolific science-fiction writer that I should remember the name of but I don’t so just deal with it.

Knowing things is not as important as you think it is.

I feel like that woman (in the book) except I’m just in pain.  I’m not creating anything.

All the other artists have already done this.  Nothing is new.  Shakespeare already did it.  I’m just good at it “for a girl”.  No way left to be great.   Everything’s documented and if you weren’t there you are here.  THAT’S CLEARLY INFERIOR BECAUSE I’M NOT HAPPY HERE.  Let’s remember the times we were happy.  If we drink enough and squint what we have now looks even BETTER than what we had.

WHY AM I STILL SAD?