I’m watching It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and realize the reason I like Josh is because he treats me like The Gang treats Dee. It’s not a perfect analogy but essentially the only way to make me feel appreciated is to so obviously berate me the audience has to know he’s not serious. Or he’s serious and I have deep emotional issues. Phffft. Why can’t both be true?

The difference is I’m not Kaitlyn Olson, I’m a troll. I’m a disgusting little creature that validates a whole host of people’s lives. That person at the bar you can say at least I’m not that crazy bitch. I’m kept on the fringes of social circles for the purposes of sex and tarot readings. I’m the one you talk to that night you’re trying something new. I’m someone it’s okay to make out with once and never think about again. It’s fine to casually discard me, obviously I don’t have any feelings.

Eternally a cliche, never a friend. I’m not sure if it’s the looks or the personality. Either way, I can’t win.