Since I’ve been in Seattle, I’ve managed to get laid twice and not lose my independence.  I think mostly just to see if I could.  I view myself as somewhat asexual these days, so it’s always a surprise when someone wants that sort of thing from me.  I tried to play coy for a few days but my desire for orgasms is very real.  I figure why not have some fun, right?  My misguided motivation is probably why things didn’t shape up that well.  Sort of like instant karma. 

The first person I humped as a sincere act of affection.  He put in the effort to make me feel special and I was emotionally willing, which is a rarity these days.  Unfortunately, it was over too quickly for any type of physical gratification.  Sigh.  Though honestly, that’s not even a deal-breaker, given my sapiosexual nature.  Problem is, it seems that was a one-time show.  True to cliche, the supportive friend I thought I’d found disappeared after that night.  Actions echoing loudly, I recognize a guy who’s not into me.  I’m still getting used to being a strong woman but I’m pretty sure my response to that is, *shrug*  “Suit yourself.”

To find balance with the force, I explored the other side of the relationship spectrum – an intentional one-night stand.  Going with the principle of making him do the work, my only selection criteria beyond any usual attraction is “meet me in my neighborhood, but don’t live anywhere near it.”  Since I downloaded Tinder recently, it didn’t take long to turn up a winner.  We met, chatted, drank and he offered to drive me home.  One thing led to another and …  we made plans to hang out again.  Turns out I just don’t fuck on the first date.  Not my style.

So on the second date, he went down on my long enough to earn it.  After pushing my legs into just the right position, he braces himself above me and starts pounding away like a jack-hammer.  I’m a talented girl and can manage to eke an orgasm out of almost any type of sex, especially with the right amount of prep work.  I even enjoy a certain amount of frenzied ramming because carnal, hard sex is fun. It also requires a visceral attraction to my partner.  Not to mention mutual respect.

Once it’s apparent his idea of sex only involves different versions of the same thrusting, I physically push him away.  He proudly assures me that he can keep going.  Like a gunshot, it becomes clear he’s prolonging the session for MY pleasure.  You see, there’s a point in life when boys discover that jack-hammering a woman’s vagina is NOT, in fact, what gets her off.  I could take the time to educate him, but that would be a waste of my talents.  Instead I’m holding out for a person that:

1. Wants to make me feel good
and
2.  Knows how.

Still pretty sure the woman of my dreams will come along any day now.  😉