All posts by Ro

Anal Sex

Art, Daily Life, First Impressions, Future Plans, mur, Quick Thoughts

There’s a difference between making someone come and helping someone come. Therein lies the spectrum of human sexuality. I spent my whole sex life trying to make my partners have orgasms. All that I wore, said and did was in effort to get them off. No concern for my own pleasure or pain, stopping before their climax left me unfulfilled.  The mentality of trying to force an orgasm elicits frustration almost from the start.  Making someone do something implies an oppositional approach in general.  It’s the same thing driving some people to go down so aggressively you’d think those genitals owe them money.  Continue reading Anal Sex →

Sex Club

CSPC, Daily Life, First Impressions, Future Plans, Games, mur, Reasons for Things

The first rule of Sex Club is there’s no drinking at the sex club.  Unlike almost every other sexually charged social event I’ve attended, there is no drinking at CSPC parties.  One of the inherent rules in any consent culture is that you must be able to give consent.  The only way to feel safe in some situations is knowing you and your partner(s) are lucid and willing.  For me, sobriety makes everything even sexier.  I don’t need to lower my inhibitions to ask for what I want for the first time in my life. It’s empowering. Continue reading Sex Club →

Introperverted

Art, CSPC, Daily Life, First Impressions, mur, Reasons for Things

The title to the party stresses the PER.  A subtle difference from emphasizing PERV.  Most of the other parties I’ve visited at the CSPC definitely focus on the perv.  True to my introvert passion, my main interest at this party is writing while in the space.  I believe certain locations retain energy people have invested there over time.  If I unhinge my mind a little I can usually feel the aura of the place.  I guess I’m a hippie like that.  Trust me, sapiosexuals think I’m a hottie.
Continue reading Introperverted →

Doom

Art, Daily Life, First Impressions, Games, mur

I’ve developed a formidable yoga routine that keeps my demons at bay. It’s the only source of fortitude I have against the nightmares spawned in the new Doom.  At average difficulty the game lists fearlessness as a key to successful play.  They mean it.  The heart-pounding action during scenes of carnage are punctuated by breathing room between areas.  Rushing headlong at the demons is sometimes the only path to success, even when the horrors I’m facing tickle my sympathetic nervous system.  Continue reading Doom →

Commitment Issues

Daily Life, First Impressions, Future Plans, mur, Reasons for Things

I’s very nice knowing what I need.  Most of the drama in dating comes from people confusing what they want with what they need.  My approach to sex positivity is finally acknowledging all the shadowy corners of myself I never thought to share.  I’ve met people as dark as I am and they encourage me to embrace the darkness.  I feel less alone while continuing to stand firmly on my own.  My weakness is getting caught up in commitments, aka caring what other people think. Continue reading Commitment Issues →

Self Ignorance

Daily Life, Future Plans, mur, Random, Reasons for Things, Stories

Keeping my mouth shut is a learned skill. I didn’t cultivate it until my 30s due to self ignorance, the opposite of self awareness. Before that, the main source of information on who I am was my parents. My mother especially has opinions about who I should be. The real problem is how long I spent trying to make them happy. If I’d adopted any accountability for my existence back then who knows what kind of bad decisions I could have made. Oh, the gutters I could have woken up in!  Now my choices are tempered by maturity and cynicism.  I stay quiet and avoid mistakes with patience most of the time.  It’s slow work but remaining self aware keeps me in touch with the ultimate goal – happiness. Continue reading Self Ignorance →

Multi-stressing

Quick Thoughts

Trying to build a new life while memorializing my old existence is stressful. My cat is the perfect example of the struggle. She’s loving and happy and brings joy to my life. She purrs, cuddles and plays, unconditionally loving everyone in her presence. She’s also in renal failure and requires a special food to keep her healthy. To keep this perfect slice of my life I need to budget roughly $130/month for cat food. That’s exceedingly impractical at this point.  Continue reading Multi-stressing →

Suicidal Idealization

Daily Life, Future Plans, mur, Quick Thoughts, Rants, Reasons for Things

I left my hometown in January. It was somewhat abrupt even though I planned for it. It’s not even the end of May and I already can’t remember my life there. My life here is still completely foreign. Everywhere I go is new and people are consistently surprised by me. I am admired often but not welcomed in. That’s the nature of Seattle. Continue reading Suicidal Idealization →

Future Craigslist Ad

mur, Quick Thoughts

Sexy 34-year old divorcee iso sugar daddy.

Able to clean and cook in exchange for room & board in or near downtown Seattle.  Will perform other duties as negotiated in exchange for cash and prizes.  Will consider an emotional bond for the right applicant.

Require full personal liberty during time off.

No fat chicks.