All posts by Ro

Suicidal

Art, Book, Daily Life, Future Plans, mur, Quick Thoughts, Rants, Reasons for Things, Stories

One statistic I read said that people who talk about committing suicide are less likely to do it. Successfully, at least. This was after Wade died and I made a vow to not be one of those vapid, narcissistic assholes that brings up suicide every time emotions run high. I did enough of that as an early teenager to last forever. I’d scream at the top of my lungs about unfairness and how much I wanted to kill myself. I probably really felt that way at the time. Back then, I felt everything to such a high degree I can’t remember what’s real sometimes. Continue reading Suicidal →

Nothing Left

Book, Daily Life, First Impressions, mur, Rants, Reasons for Things, Stories

This time last week, I was celebrating my chance to work at a company I love. Today I was told having marijuana in my system makes me ineligible to work. I knew this ahead of time. That’s why I used a system cleanse to flush myself out before peeing in a cup. This method has worked for me before. Many times. Apparently 1 out of 4 is the statistic I needed to watch out for.  Continue reading Nothing Left →

Liquid Truth

Art, Book, Daily Life, mur, Random, Reasons for Things, Stories

It’s not complacency, accepting the truth. Knowing what reality looks like is a sound business strategy. It means accepting the good with the bad. You can’t have everything so measure what you need. There are truths that will change during your lifetime. If you really want the unceasing flow of change to move in your direction, fight realities that aren’t solid yet. Don’t lament the unchangeable. Even that will change eventually, just not at a pace you can work with. Continue reading Liquid Truth →

Inking Feeling

Art, First Impressions, mur, Reasons for Things, Stories, Yoga

I’m ready for work on Monday. A shock to my system akin to cold water, sometimes chilly water is the only way to do it. There’s a river in middle Tennessee that fills an old cast iron tub with ice cold water. To the brim. Nearby there’s a small sauna, big enough for maybe a dozen people if everyone gets friendly. If you’re lucky there’s a eucalyptus brew in the air. Great for curing that sniffle. Continue reading Inking Feeling →

Why did you choose that name?

Art, Daily Life, mur, Random, Reasons for Things

No reason. At least not that I thought. A tidbit on a strand of time lingering in the air. Auras as tangible as music. Reality is what we make it. The lives we live are constructs, some more durable than others. I only ask that you are honest with me, is that too much? Excavating feelings from the half spoken thoughts of uptight individuals. Extrapolating meaning from the scraps of conversation I’m fed after everyone’s finished noshing. Searching for a small purpose in the greater scheme of stupidity surrounding us. Am I the idiot for wanting a more open mind. The scars make me look like Frankenstein’s monster. Makes me feel like a failed experiment.

Thankfully

Art, Daily Life, il poeta, mur, Reasons for Things

For dinner, the food
I give thanks,
I bought myself
Peanut butter and jelly.
String cheese.
Baby carrots.
Goldfish crackers.
Starburst souffle
with a side of milk
chocolate kisses.

Going nowhere.
Seeing people
As they really are
From this distance.
Same color, same gender
Some vertical deviation.
Initial responses vary
And end all the sameHate me, love me,
Forgive me.

Living at distinct elevation
Among monks and eunuchs
Like any good princess
I don’t cry out
Watching hair
Growth is boring.
Tried sleeping
Forever didn’t work.
Daily apples,
Good for regularity.

Strands of hope
Strung loosely
Feeble fragments
Form a web
Clump of desire
Fragments caught
Draining me alive.
Cares casually given
Do not feed
The animal.

Are You Flirting With Me?

Art, Book, Daily Life, mur, Quick Thoughts, Random

Who else hears Juliette Lewis’s voice from Natural Born Killers every time they hear that phrase? Continue reading Are You Flirting With Me? →

Fixation

Art, Daily Life, First Impressions, Future Plans, mur, Quick Thoughts, Stories

I live in Seattle. Technically (and financially) that’s been true since January. It just didn’t feel real until now. On Wednesday night I told a very personal story on stage to a small, attentive crowd. About 20% of the crowd consisted of people there to see me. It’s absolutely amazing – in less than a year I have friends in Seattle. I was even surprised by someone who didn’t tell me they would be there. That’s the biggest audience I’ve ever drawn for anything, including my wedding. A sure sign that I not only live in Seattle but I fit in better than I ever did in Memphis. Continue reading Fixation →

FFS

mur, Random, Rants

It’s women like you that defeat my entire purpose. I’m fighting to prove it isn’t about gender and you use your femininity as a weapon. Shielding yourself behind an army of insipid friends and lovers, wrapped in narcissistic insecurity. Only interacting with people that coddle you doesn’t make you an introvert. Just a child.  Nursing old pain like a war wound, your bitterness is Shakespearean with unnecessary drama. Bad news, we’ve all been hurt. We are all jaded and bitter. The difference is, I don’t let it stop me.  Continue reading FFS →