The key to my sanity is not using Facebook for anything substantial. I didn’t have one until 2014 and only created it for professional purposes. After leaving Memphis, I discovered the network’s draw in a whole new way. A deep connection to Facebook blurs reality and interpreting anything through the lens of etiquette established on the internet is risky at best. Facebook especially seems to have an elaborate set of rules about communication and privacy to the degree my own mother’s feelings are hurt when I don’t accept her friend request. Apparently sharing a blood supply isn’t a reassuring enough relationship.
It’s surreal. I spent my formative years all over the internet as a refuge from the world around me. Now I’m utilizing the world around me to escape the confines of social media. My personal reasons to check FB consist of one guy in Memphis, one guy in FL and countless pictures of dogs. Honestly, I’m still uncomfortable making real world plans via social media. It’s convenient and yet there’s a hollow sensation to discussing online how great it’s going to be. Then there’s that one guy asking if anyone can give him a ride and someone replies with a link to Lyft. Your friend with a car because you don’t have any.
I find the more recent convention of re-posting old memories, aka the posts you made at that time in previous solar cycles. A false nostalgia promoting the intimate connection to their network. My favorite memories are the ones not listed on social media, by far. It reminds me of the same plague from old social circles where friends sit around remembering the good-ole-days while getting imperceptibly older. And drunk, though I’m told that’s not a requirement for having your head up your ass. It just makes it more tolerable in the long run. If I’d been in any of the stories they so fondly recited it might have been different. Instead I’m out here living in the present, for better or worse.
The single best decision I’ve made this year is turning off all FB notifications on my phone. It’s a small move because I still check it daily but the impact is significant. The Pavlovian response from looking at my phone every time there’s slight movement in the multiverse gives me a great deal more time to focus on playing mindless phone games. I’d rather be addicted to Plants vs Zombies: Heroes than the opinions of strangers echoed by endless memes and reposts. I don’t want to burn FB down but I won’t cry if it disappears. I can get pictures of my dog in the mail too.