I bear you no ill will. That doesn’t mean I have to be nice. Courtesy is taught with an assumption it will be reciprocated or, at least, appreciated. Times have changed and what was once considered refined has faded into hollow ceremony with, at worst, an air of pretension. The seedy underside of politeness is conversations whispered in corners and behind closed doors. The need to be vulgar and honest perseveres no matter how kind a person is on the exterior. Gossip and judgement are part of basic human nature and shouldn’t be ignored. Flatly declaring opinions wrong is where subversive bigotry breeds.

The bigot declaring their hatred openly is only motivated by fear. Well, that and a child-like need for attention. Of course, we all crave validation to some extent. Living alone in your own mind distorts reality to a degree and it’s frustrating to feel isolated when you try to express yourself. Most of the sexist, racist, homophobic assholes I’ve known personally were ignorant more than hateful. They held beliefs imprinted on them by time and personal experience. It wasn’t a malicious hatred so much as disease with the unfamiliar. Unfortunately, their behavior is inherently offensive and an unwillingness to change leaves me little room for compassion.

Bigotry seems more egregious on the surface. People shouting hate and throwing punches. These reactions are a learned response from decades of examples to follow. I’m not saying reactions on this scale are wrong but I will contend it doesn’t help anything. If there was an easy way to teach empathy we wouldn’t need this many religions. The best way to defeat fear-based prejudice is patiently. King understood this. His role in the universe called for a great deal of action and yet he is associated with a message of peace. Blood was still shed, angry words were still lobbed but the overall message that won out was one of nonviolence. Gandhi is another good example.

The recent Womxn’s March demonstration was an excellent example of nonviolent protest. A silent protest happily buzzing with voices of support and camaraderie. No need to chant and scream. No need to push or fight. A legal gathering of civilians demonstrating their displeasure with the turn our country has taken. I freely admit my complete shock and dismay at the current presidency and possible repercussions. I feel safer here in Seattle than I would in Memphis, TN. That doesn’t assuage my fears for the country as a whole. I have too much empathy to celebrate my good decisions. If anything, the potential tyranny at hand makes me miss my hometown more than I thought I could.

My only talent is telling the truth. Honesty is a thin shield from the insanity threatening to engulf me every day. This trait might become a super power in the days to come. Given a perspective bathed in sharp contrast, all I can think to do is keep on course with patience and kindness. I’ve reaped my benefits from years of pain and solitude. Doing yoga has helped immensely. As for money, I’m blessed with people in my life that helped me survive thus far. I’m keenly aware they don’t owe me anything. While waiting for my chance to demonstrate civil disobedience, I keep trudging on my path in life with only one message for the haters on both sides – I am not your enemy, I bear you no ill will.