Television has us believe finding a mate is the primary goal in any person’s life. Every main character is  plagued by the burning desire to find a soul mate, no matter how well-balanced or successful they seem. Emotional security doesn’t exist in scripts until the requisite mate is found and procreation is initiated. Implications of happily ever after are casually tossed at the audience as two lovers fade into eternity. Despite painting a picture of fulfilling partnerships there’s a sinister reason media focuses so much on relationships – they want you to crave your own drama. It’s the driving force behind consumerism, among other things.

Drama comes in two forms, comedy and tragedy. The beginning of a relationship is typically full of the happier comedy-style drama. Late nights talking, early mornings fucking, new experiences and exciting possibilities. Most of us feel fuller and uplifted by this part of a relationship. Sure we’re exhausted but it’s in the good way, like sore muscles after a pool party. Undertakings have more meaning, life seems to hold more purpose. This is the same drama giving us the feels at the end of romantic comedies. If that was the only side of things we could bottle strife and sell it.

In the real world, happy drama only lasts for a few months at best. Every relationship that develops comes with growing pains and requisite tragedy. What’s tragic can vary for each person. One couple might only fight when faced with major issues while others look for the slightest reason to have a spat. This is the drama of everyday life. Sane people avoid it by seeking out partners that complement them and their way of living. Less well-adjusted lovers seem to go out of their way to find people who perpetually piss them off. Unfortunately, validating yourself with unnecessary drama will always result in a net loss.

Due to the Hollywood culture in America, there’s a secret third option many tacitly overlook. Stay single. Have trysts and good times with people as they come into your life and continue to be yourself. Let them do the same. This means you get multiple chances to have new relationship comedy-drama while avoiding the most entrenched tragedy-drama. Yes, it does mean that some of the people you love will fade out of your life over time. It also provides more room for new people to enter your heart. Quality over quantity is not an either/or sentiment.

I’ve found this unusual approach to dating yields more long-term friends than single-minded coupling. That alone is a good reason to try it. Another great side effect is the possibility to develop a long-term relationship that forms organically. That’s a bonus when it happens but the main idea I want to express is that forming one half of a couple is not, and should not, be the main focus of our lives. Partnering has its advantages but not at the cost of independence. Living by yourself has striking benefits that go unsung. In reality, being single is a luxury and should be lavished in when we have it.