Last December I taught 5 volunteers how to do about a dozen yoga poses in around 45 minutes. Tonight I taught about about a dozen unwilling people 2 yoga poses in around 5 minutes. It was a personal challenge to myself. Not endorsed and certainly not approved by management, I went old school Magic Hat and used my 5 minutes to do whatever the hell I want. I used a unique approach to defeat stage fright in 2014. I found places to be on stage with minimal expectation. At Spillit, the only thing I had to do was try. It started my entire theory – being on stage isn’t hard, caring what the audience thinks is.

I found the Magic Hat while looking for open mic events, before I even moved here. It was one of the few things appearing regularly in The Stranger. Monday nights became my time to do something new while in Memphis. It’s how I met some of the best people I can call friends. Monday night has a certain disposable quality to it. Most people only garner the strength for one or two nights out per week. Only the most reserved, most introverted and most alcoholic are out on Mondays. Those are my people. We only take you seriously if you show up regularly for at least a couple months. It takes about 8 weeks of lonely Mondays to prove you have nothing better to do with your time.

I was only encouraged to keep attending the Magic Hat once. The host, arguably the only charismatic person in the bunch, was leaving town for a couple of weeks. Maybe he knew I’d feel lost without his leadership? Maybe he knows how it feels to be unlikable? Either way, he decided to extend a word of welcome to me before leaving. Encouraging me to keep coming he solidified a suspicion I’d been forming over the summer. I mention not feeling like the right kind of person to fit in at the Hat, he says, “I think you are exactly the kind of person the Hat is for.” I decided to believe he’s right.

So today I went up on stage “winging it” and the result wasn’t painful. Watching others deal with discomfort on stage is hard to comprehend at this point. I remember feeling uncomfortable but the solution is simple – don’t give a damn. Talk like your best friend is listening and pretend you are the most interesting thing in the world. Belief is suspended for less when you watch a science fiction movie, right? Most people are so mind-numbingly bored with their own lives listening to your thoughts is sweet relief. Others are vacant enough to not have thoughts at all and they are happy for the interlude. And occasionally, on a blue moon, someone will actually listen.