*Hic* Oh, excuse me! 

Two drunk ladies trill at the end of the bar, debating the benefits of Lyft over Uber. My money for the jukebox ran out and I’m weighing the merits of more time over less non-annoying time. When there’s music playing the piercing insecurity of other people’s voices is filled in with other emotional sounds from instruments and whatnot. In a way, I prefer bad music over silence just for the comfort of a familiar discord. Something I’m used to tuning out.  Music and sex are the same for me – even the bad stuff is good.

Some music is easier to appreciate just like some boys are prettier than others.  That doesn’t stop me from having good taste.  Within the right context, certain qualities outrank others.  I know the things I enjoy and most of them are only achieved with some combination of hard work and talent.  Mostly the hard work part, in my experience.  That said, sometimes music is just about making someone feel good.  The type of songs that get everyone in the bar singing along.  The kind of beat that makes you dance right there in your seat.

I’m only here because I don’t want to go home.  I might be starved for affection or just need the break in monotony.  I haven’t spent a long spell at a bar in a while.  The summer feels like bar hopping and meeting new people.  Not like those days I sat at the PnH watching all the people come and go.  None of them spoke about Michelangelo.  I wouldn’t turn down a new experience but I’m just as happy going home alone.  I have my sights set on a great weekend, no matter what happens until then.

If getting laid was my goal I’d already be satisfied tonight.  I’m looking for companionship.  Someone to chat with that isn’t invested in my opinion.  This is the night I’d go to the Pump and hang out with flamingly gay men in Memphis.  That’s the kind of mood I’m in.  I want someone with the same combination of candid and kind I’ve managed to develop.  Tell me the truth and know why it also hurts like hell.  I’m approaching my birthday.  It’s a good time for me to take on some blame.  I’ll find a way to get rid of it soon.