Cabin Fever

My favorite sound is vehicles trying to accelerate uphill on Queen Anne Ave when the pavement’s wet. 

There are a lot of know-it-alls in my office.  I count myself among them.  Only difference is I know how to hold my tongue.  The millennials are are riled up about the political climate in America right now.  It’s cute.  They think this is the worst thing that can happen to the country.  They clearly don’t remember the Civil War.  They don’t remember race riots and queer-lynching.  They don’t know what it’s like to grow up afraid to express yourself.  Tattoos forbidden and relationships taboo.  Developing counter-culture movements because that’s the only way we could make any noise.  Being a punk was a crime and not everyone was willing to commit it.  If you don’t know what I mean, google Pussy Riot.

In high school I only had one prominent bumper sticker on my car.  Question Authority.  It’s a creed I live by.  I believe Franklin said that…  or was it Thomas Paine?  Approaching everything with a healthy level of skepticism is the only reason I survived so long in the midSouth.  I refused to keep my mouth shut – essentially to my detriment.  Despite good intentions, my family tends to represent everything I don’t like about upper middle class America.  I subjected myself to white guilt decades before it was cool.  In my misery and soul searching, I figured out quickly everyone is pretty much the same.  People make different choices and have different regrets.  Equality is a tough concept for someone who feels they’ve been cheated.

When the media tried to tell me homosexuality is evil in the mid-90’s I pretty much tuned out of everything.  My greatest influences were  late night HBO/Cinemax programs, Liquid Television, Comedy Central, and Cartoon Network.  I have an unhealthy attachment to NBC based on misplaced family affections but I’m getting help for that.  Short of the constant advertising we’re all exposed to just by existing, I’d say my commercial exposure is minimal.  When I do see advertisements I’m usually aware of it.  That’s harder to do than honest calorie counting.  Try it.  Make a note of every advertisement you see in one day.  If you look at the internet at all, prepare to lose count.

The constant hum of consumerism is deafening when you first hear it.  All marketing is designed to make you feel bad about yourself.  That’s why you can usually gauge a girl’s self esteem by the number of grooming products in her shower.  I believe equality is a great ideal and unfortunately individuals will always struggle against feeling undervalued.  The verve of younger generations is what I need around me.  To remember how hard I fought to be where I am.  I don’t pretend I’m better than anyone.  I know part of my fortune is sheer luck.  Part of your fortune is that I will pay it forward.

I can see my Book taking form.  I know I’m on the right track.  I’m going to tell my story.  I can start building the framework.

 

 

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