The last time I was properly spanked, I didn’t see it coming. My friend actually listened when I nostalgically reminisced I hadn’t had a good spanking in a very long time. There’s an art to sexually charged spanking that not all people can master. My last spanking was a pleasant coincidence of empathy and intimacy. A magical reminder of something I was missing.  A beautiful moment with a good friend.

My daddy issues aside, spanking puts me into a submissive mode. I relish the attention required to sense pleasure in the pain. Attempts to interpret my screams, testing my limits gradually. A gentle caress or teasing word at the right moment is relaxing. It doesn’t take long before I’m dripping wet.  In expert style, he finishes with a sharp bite on my ass cheek and cuddles me onto the mattress.

Right before the bite, he commanded me to tell him what I want.  I couldn’t.  I didn’t know what I wanted.  My voice squeaked and I physically clammed up.  He sensed my distress and finished promptly.  Spared me the drama of using the safe word, especially since I was mute.  I was scared but not fearful.  Not having a voice is stressful in normal situations.  I’m fortunate to have such a loving friend in my life.

That episode is why I’m seeking out a sex positive environment.  The best way to get what you want is by asking.  I want to at least be able to ask, even if I don’t get what I want.  Of course, my recent experience indicates I’ll find things I didn’t even know to look for.  I’m going to a singles party tonight and get to discover what edge play is like.