Trapped in the front room of my grandparents house in Nashville, I’m aware people are getting ready to leave. The family gathering is almost over and I’m tense. I told my family what I really think and can’t communicate with them anymore. There’s still love in the house but not warm feelings. When I try to speak the only phrases I can say are leave me alone, go to hell, fuck off and I hate you. A clear scale of the same feeling.
I hear a scritching sound coming from underneath the couch. Searching it out I discover a giant black rat. He bites me and I don’t flinch so he settles calmly into my possession. My mother tells me I have to kill the rat. I know why she says that but I don’t agree. Killing is wrong. I offer the rat to a snake and they find a way to mutually exist. That’s when I find the smaller brown female rate. Her bites are smaller and don’t hurt as much but she gnaws persistently until I flinch. The female rat is never fully comfortable with my presence.
It’s time to leave and there are only two cars. I insist I won’t survive the trip if I have to be in the same car as my family. My mother refuses to leave me alone and my father dislikes the impracticality of a 4 to 1 division of the group. I admit that my sisters are welcome to ride with me but I’m driving. No one is happy with that. I haven’t told anyone about the rats I plan to stow away with me. Doesn’t matter that much because they keep escaping every container I try to keep them in. The rats have no interest in a car ride at all.
When I finally go to pack my things I discover a baby rosy boa near the kitchen. The tiny thing bites me but I can’t feel it. Snakes don’t care if you flinch. Putting the reptile in a large clear bag, I bring it with me to the car. Now that there’s a snake riding with me the only person willing to get in the car is my younger sister. Checking Facebook before we leave I see that my friend posted a picture of his father. I read that his dad died the night before and I start bawling. I can’t hide the pain I feel and my family asks why I care so much.
Then I woke up.