It’s almost a week since I drove out of Memphis and yet I’m right back here again. I decided that flying my cats on a plane is easier (for all of us) than having them in the car for 4 days. The motels I used did have options for pets but I would have felt bad leaving them in the car for an hour at the Grand Canyon. Instead they are going to cuddle next to each other in a bag for the most terrifying 10 hours of their existence. Unless the plane crashes, they’ll survive.

I wish I’d finished closing up my old apartment before leaving. I did 93% of the work and that seemed like enough at the time. Coming back, it feels like I could have done more. Fortunately I have help. Here I have people that come to my aid almost without having to ask. It’s what family does for each other around here. In Seattle, I have absolutely no help so if I want something done… ya know. Whenever I need something, my primary solution is to just do without. If I still need it the next day – order it from Amazon.

Given my disposition, it’s a risky startup. While the independence I gain each day I survive fills me with overwhelming happiness, the risk of falling into a deep depressive episode remains very real. All it takes is one crisis I don’t have a fix for and I could plummet into a pit of self-disgust and worthlessness. Fortunately, I take my meds and do my yoga. After that it’s just one day at a time.