My journey with yoga thus far is almost completely internal.  However, my fine-ass legs are one of the more external results of my hard work and practice.  The added strength and sureness I’ve developed in my body has grown my confidence.  Unfortunately, it’s also the perfect breeding ground for my ego. 

Overall, I picture my serene self walking down a clear path but my ego is bouncing around like a hyperactive 6-year old trying to get my attention.  The farther I go, the less energy the little brat has.  When I’m especially focused and gain confidence in my stride, my ego stops bouncing.  This is  when I’m most vulnerable.  My ego gets quiet and watches.  Eventually, after one particularly satisfying accomplishment, she pipes up in my ear, “Wow! That is SO COOL.  We should tell everyone how amazing we are!”

It’s an easy trap to fall into.  Who doesn’t like telling their friends about something they’re proud of?  It’s not really even bragging, just reporting facts.  AND most people like to share in your happiness, right?  In yoga, I’ve learned that sharing my accomplishments diminishes them.  Thanks to asana, my external body advertises its own results.  Chirping about anything else is just a reflection of my bratty little ego.

Living independently has a similar obstacle.  A recovering co-dependent, I face daily battles with fear and anxiety.  Then I, alone, deal with it.  From simple hurdles, like doing laundry by myself, to major accomplishments, like not texting my ex-husband during a panic attack, part of dealing with it is not needing to share the details.  Calls not made, messages not delivered – these are the stones shoring up my foundation.  Finding myself in the rubble of past lives.

A primary principle in yoga is ahimsa, non-harming.  In my practice, I strive not to harm myself.  In my life, I’m learning that not hurting others relies on actions not taken more often than not.