There were complaints about the way I’m doing things.
I silenced them.
The choices made are less permanent if you don’t worry about it.
Loyalty is only useful in small gatherings.
I guess I shouldn’t worry about it.
Plenty to go around at family meal time.
No swimming in the genetic pool for me.
No matter how much it matters to me.

Stung by a wasp.
Emotionally punched in the face.
The silence is a refuge
A place where I can’t abuse
even my self.

How dare you
Tell me what.
I do remember.
Paying attention this whole time.
Should I win an Oscar?
Or just
Suspended disbelief.

I know what I want.
Done apologizing.
Because eventually
it WILL kill me
to do it.