Non-monogamy is a way of life for some people. I’m still feeling it out, skeptical at the very least. Different definitions exist in every case and the consensus seems hinged on the word ethical. Having multiple sexual and emotional partners is only acceptable when there’s some level of accountability. Encountering monogamous opinions viewing polyamory as cheating with extra steps, I’ve found just as many poly individuals demonizing singular partnership. I feel like there’s a middle ground.  I’ve had the best possible sexually monogamous relationship I can possibly ask for. But one person can’t give me everything I need.  Not even myself.

I’m confronted with people offering me concessions. I don’t deserve anything yet,  nothing has happened. They see value in me but don’t realize how quickly that potential dries up when I’m well fed. The comforts they offer are so enticing I almost forget my place in this world. Getting past that point and still surviving on my own is part of the project. I have to reach a point where I spend more time on my needs than theirs. I don’t know what that looks like in a non-monogamous world except that it requires a lot more scheduling. My needs always fall by the wayside when I have amorous relationships. That’s how I was raised.